You couldn’t make it up: Sun signs Blunkett as columnist

Tabloid clangers

 November 30

By Maria Ahmed

Bear faced cheek, the Sun reported this week, “fury as firm targets kids of four with teddy mobile” created by the aptly-named company Teddyfone Ltd. The idea is to use the “cute blue gadget” to help parents keep track of their kids, but the government’s leading adviser on radiation has warned that children under nine should not use mobile phones.

The Sun also happily announced this week that former work and pensions secretary David Blunkett is to become a columnist for the rag. Whether we are going to get new insights on what should have been done with the Child Support Agency and welfare reforms remains to be seen. An “exclusive” on Blunkett’s rise to become one of the tabloid kings carries a dramatic quote from the man himself: “I fell in love and learned some painful lessons.”

The Daily Mirror was obviously fumbling about desperately for a characteristically funny (or punny) headline for a story about blind and partially-sighted people being offered braille application packs to become bin men for Tower Hamlets council in east London. But the un-PC brigade could only come up with the feeble headline “Brailley bins.”

The Daily Mirror delights in the story of “PC plonkers” as West Mercia police pays an American “Mrs Motivator” £200,000 to teach 999 staff never to say “can’t” and always respond with a “welcome” instead of “hello.” Motivational Expert Mary Gober was previously brought in to turn around the fortunes of Marks and Spencer.