● As Johnny Rotten once said: “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated”
I’ve had it with my senior managers trying to pull the wool over my eyes with local government speak. I mean, I’ve been doing this job for over 20 years now. Don’t get me wrong, in my current place of work I’m in the unusual position of appreciating the talents of my bosses. It’s just that every now and then the personality transplant kicks in and they start talking garbage. So, if your boss starts discussing the following subjects with you, remember Rosie’s pearls of wisdom.
Strategy: a long document that will be written by someone else but in the name of your senior manager. No one will read it.
Action plan: what you’re going to do as a result of the strategy.
Steering group: the group of poor souls responsible for the action plan, linked to the strategy.
Steering group/working party workshop: Oh no! A whole day where the steering group responsible for the action plan linked to the strategy meet and divide up the tasks among themselves. Be very afraid
Risk assessment: whose arse is on the line when this thing you’re assessing goes belly up?
Cost benefit analysis: who can do something the cheapest?
Multi-agency approach: for goodness sake get as many other people involved as possible and share the burden.
Partnership: work as closely with other colleagues and organisations as you possibly can, in order to get your own way.
Participation/consultation: fundamentally, ask service users what they think of the decisions we’ve made.
Remember, if your boss starts involving you with any of the above get someone to do the thinking for you.
➔ E-mail your anecdotes and observations to firstname.lastname@example.org