Leo (Jul 24 – Aug 23)
With your birthday coming up make sure everyone knows and buys you a present.
Virgo (Aug 24 – Sep 23)
Personalisation is so confusing isn’t it? Just give any requests to a colleague to sort out.
Libra (Sep 24 – Oct 23)
Neptune is transcendent with Mercury in the House of Love meaning humiliation at the staff outing awaits you.
Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22)
You’ve passed your exams – a life in social care awaits you, hurrah?
Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21)
Hot weather is an excuse to wear the fabled social work sandals.
Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20)
The sentencing of the canoe couple has blown your idea for escaping the UK out the water.
Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19)
Cafcass wants to headhunt you try fainting like in Jane Austen novels and suggest someone else.
Pisces (Feb 20 – Mar 20)
Oh no, you forgot to re-register! Try blagging when the GSCC calls.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20)
Stay at home, you’ll feel better.
Taurus (Apr 21 – May 21)
A word in your floppy ears – everyone is bored hearing about your bloody pets.
Gemini (May 22 – Jun 22)
Your boss wants to make amends for working during the strike – the price must involve pain.
Cancer (Jun 23 – Jul 23)
Clients have moved near and keep waving to you – pretend you are French and don’t know them.