Community Clairvoyance: The alternative horoscope for social workers

Community Clairvoyance: The alternative horoscope for social workers

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20) Don’t be paranoid: millions of The Sun’s readers may hate you but several thousand others disagree.

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 21) Love comes along with the spring.

Gemini (May 22 – Jun 22) Beware Red Nose Day. One warning like last year is enough.

Cancer (Jun 23 – Jul 23) Your director smiled at you while whistling Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive. What does it mean?

Leo (Jul 24 – Aug 23) Your stars say money will feature this month. Given the recession, it can only be huge bills. Sorry.

Virgo (Aug 24 – Sep 23) As ever, paperwork is well-starred.

Libra (Sep 24 – Oct 23) Trips abroad feature in your chart, even though the pound is doing badly. Shows how little we know.

Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22) Your council is talking about budget cuts in social services. Time to move, but then all the councils are cutting services.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21) Dr Who is traversing the zodiac. Watch out for unusual events.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20) The pressure of work is too great. Have you tried alcoholism? It is often used in creative professions.

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19) A mystic says we are in the Age of Aquarius: peace and love to everyone, including doctors.

Pisces (Feb 20 – Mar 20) Romance is around the corner if only you lift the scales from your eyes and look at your colleagues with renewed ardour.