The big social work biscuit debate: results announced

The world of social care has spoken. And the words that have come out of its crumb-strewn mouth will reverberate through the ages.

In the most significant public opinion survey ever conducted Community Care can exclusively reveal that the chocolate digestive is social care’s favourite biscuit. Ever.

A WHOPPING one in five social care workers said they preferred the chocolate digestive over any other biscuit. Only marginally less popular were the chocolate chip cookie and the ginger nut.

Further analysis of the results provides DISTURBING reading, however. In what is already being seen as a sign of fundamental disunity within the profession, children and family social workers expressed a preference for chocolate digestives while adults’ social workers plumped for chocolate chip cookies.

Meanwhile, the result from the student vote will send SHOCKWAVES through the sector. The rookies turned preconceptions about forward-thinking youth on its head by expressing their preference for the retro trio of ginger nuts, custard creams and bourbons.

The humble chocolate finger was CRUELLY disregarded by social care, picking up just three votes.

The absence from the list of the Tunnock’s Caramel Wafer was an unforgiveable mistake on our part, with a number of participants DEMANDING to know why it had been omitted.

Here are the full results:

All respondents:

1. Chocolate digestive 19.9%
2. Chocolate chip cookie 14.5%
3. Ginger nuts 13.3%
4. Hob nob 12%
4. Shortbread 12%
6. Tunnock’s tea cake 9%
7. Bourbon 7.2%
8. Digestive 4.8%
9. Garibalde 4.2%
10. Jammy dodger 3%
10. Those pink wafer things 3%
12. Rich tea 2.4%
13. Chocolate fingers 1.8%

Children and families social workers:

1. Chocolate digestive 22.2%
1. Shortbread 22.2%
3. Chocolate chip cookie 18.5%

Adults social workers

1. Chocolate chip cookie 26.5%
2. Chocolate digestive 23.5%
3. Hob nob 14.7%

Social work students

1. Ginger nuts 21.4%
2. Custard cream 19%
3. Bourbon 16.7%

Others

1. Chocolate digestive 22.2%
2. Shortbread 12.7%
2. Ginger nuts 12.7%
2. Tunnocks tea cake 12.7%