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Adults with dyslexia often go to great lengths to hide their inability to read and write and can slip through the net partly due to the fact that they are wrongly thought of as unintelligent. Carol Daly reports.

The first time I met Paul, he was nervous and apprehensive. Now in his early 40s, he had been harbouring a secret for most of his life. He had been too embarrassed to reveal his difficulty to anyone, even those who were closest to him. Now he desperately needed help as his marriage had broken down and it was impossible for him to exist as he had been doing.

Paul did not realise that he was far from alone and that his problem is shared by many thousands of adults. He could neither read nor write, and thought that this was because he was of low intelligence. In fact, Paul is an adult dyslexic who had never been diagnosed during his years at school and had learned to cope with his problem in his own way.

He had never been able to send Christmas or birthday cards, to write a cheque, complete a form, or handle many of the details of everyday life necessary in a society that places supreme importance on the written word.

His only financial transactions had been in cash - to pay his utilities bills he had to go to the relevant offices with money in his pocket to settle the account. Despite many years of marriage, his wife had never realised the extent of his problem or that she was acting as interpreter and scribe for him. Now that she had left, he was having to learn to manage his daily life as well as deal with solicitors' letters and other written materials in connection with his divorce.

Many adult dyslexics become remarkably adept at concealing their difficulties from others and may take desperate steps to avoid any situation in which they might be required to read or write. They often have phenomenal memories - a necessity for them as they cannot rely on taking notes. Something as simple as passing on a telephone message is a nightmare - many people find it impossible to write down the numbers or the caller's name, let alone the purpose of the call.

Demoralising early experiences with teachers and peers can leave adult dyslexics feeling like outsiders who must conceal their situation. Some will go to extreme lengths to prevent others from knowing that they are unable to cope with the written word, and will pretend to read and understand material. If a challenge is too great, they may simply abandon the task, leaving many adult dyslexics at risk of extreme social exclusion.

Although often regarded as unintelligent at school most true dyslexics are of normal or above-average intelligence. They can be extremely successful, especially in artistic or creative pursuits.

Adults with dyslexia are often wary of anything official. They will avoid form-filling at all costs, either by "losing" the form, or by creating any distraction that will remove the necessity of completing it.

Ironically, the reluctance to explain the nature of their problem and to ask for help probably creates more difficulties than the dyslexia itself. It is an amazing moment when an adult dyslexic discovers that there are others with the same problem. Years of silence are broken down in the sharing of painful experiences. There are guilty accounts of the deceit and cunning which have been necessary to get through life. There are often tears of relief to find that they are no longer alone.

Eventually, it is possible to laugh about some of these stories. This creates an enormous improvement in their self-image.

With their talent for spotting possible sources of exposure, many adult dyslexics will avoid social services as much as possible, causing themselves unnecessary hardship as a result. But social workers can be of immense help to adult dyslexics by reassuring them that their problem is a common one and that adult education classes are available to assist them.

As their main fear is of humiliation and being made to feel inadequate, it is important to look for positive achievements in the person's life to try to bolster their fragile self-esteem. There is also a colossal step forward if the person can be gently convinced that dyslexia need not be a source of embarrassment and there is no shame in asking for help.

When a dyslexic adult asks for and receives the appropriate help, it is not only spelling that improves. Social skills, confidence, understanding of the world, better parenting, more enjoyment from life and the feeling of normality are other benefits.

In addition, by admitting that the difficulty is relatively common, the adult dyslexic is at last able to drop the subterfuge that has previously been necessary in order to cope with life. When they realise that their shameful secret is neither shameful nor a secret, the doors open to a completely fresh approach to life. CC

Carol Daly is an adult literacy tutor.