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Personal experiences which have influenced the lives and opinions of those involved in social care.

Caring for my terminally ill husband was a lonely experience. From the moment that his illness was diagnosed I felt different from the rest of the human race.

I was no longer able to meet friends and chat about inconsequential matters when I had this major problem to face. There seemed to be an impenetrable wall around me, casting its shadow over every aspect of my existence. I found it impossible to share with others what I was going through as I neither wanted their sympathy nor did I want to cause them distress.

This feeling of separateness came between my husband and me. Neither of us was prepared to say what we really felt about the situation in case we distressed the other. As well as this feeling of disconnectedness, my life changed in many other ways. There was a lot of work for me to do as Peter's condition deteriorated. By this time he was fitted with a feeding tube and I had to spend hours ensuring that he received all his nutrition, medication and fluid intake through it. I was constantly exhausted as Peter was totally dependent on me for his every need.

I was aware that he was unhappy and that I could do very little to help him and absolutely nothing to change the situation. The emotional and physical burden was almost unbearable.

There is one aspect of those days that I am very glad about - he never asked me to help him to die. Faced with such a request, I would have been unable to make a rational decision. There was the wish to see an end to the suffering, but not to see the end of Peter's life.

The carer has a huge responsibility to keep the patient alive. If new legislation is passed giving carers a legal right to assist the death of a terminally ill patient, this will put an intolerable burden on the carer at a time when they are least equipped to cope with it.

The totally desperate situation of the carer is not easily understood by anyone who has not experienced it. The worst part is that even doing absolutely everything conscientiously, it is impossible to improve the patient's situation. Aware that Peter was going to die, I tried to ensure that I did everything possible for him so that when it was all over I would not feel I had failed him in any way.

Does any person have the moral right to ask someone else to kill them? Especially if that is the person who is already bearing the full brunt of the situation?

The carer is already giving much, and suffering much.

But to be asked to deprive that person of their life because they no longer feel it is worth living is to make one demand too many. It's not only patients who need to assert their rights - carers have rights too.

Carol Daly is a carer.