News

Monday
Doesn't retirement mean anything any more? My recently retired colleague has got herself a new job, in a consultative capacity with the local authority she has just retired from. When some redundancies were required my colleague felt enough was enough. It was time to work for herself, at her own pace. I had clenched my fists in envy while I wished her the best of luck. After a short holiday she's now back. I ask her what she's being employed to do. "Not sure yet - apparently there's a number of things that need some working on," she says. I'm astonished because I can't remember her being so in demand when she worked here.

Tuesday
There is an atmosphere of outrage and scandal in the office this morning. The beans have been spilt on an office relationship, of the amorous "after-office-hours" type. A social worker had to be moved from his team because he was having an affair with a colleague. Upon discovering this, the colleague's husband took matters into his own hands at the area office. Apparently this isn't the first time the social worker has been "transferred" under such circumstances. My other colleagues think it is in poor taste when I ask whether his removal was for his own safety.

Wednesday
I'm interviewing all day today. It is a thankless task. We've had dozens of applications for our information officer post. I'm struggling to tell each one apart. They're all excellent - highly qualified and awesomely confident. I decide to turn to the recruitment and selection rule of thumb: inspect their shoes if in doubt. Style and condition are key indicators, and I make a mental note of each applicant's footwear. At the end of the day we reach consensus over the best candidate, who happens to be wearing a pair of gleaming loafers.

Thursday

On my way to work I hear a staggering statistic. One in 100 of the world's population live in the UK. When you consider that there are still some parts of the country that are pretty underpopulated, one can only assume that London and the South East are packed to the rafters. No wonder there's a recruitment crisis and a shortage of resources when we're dealing with such a high percentage of the global population. How can we possibly believe that we have adequate provision to be able to manage a statistic of that proportion?

Friday
In answer to my question on Monday, retirement seems to mean an open door to lucrative earnings. My "retired" colleague dropped into my office today and told me that one of the things she's been asked to become involved in is the fostering panel. She says this with a smirk and I am sure she detects my bafflement. As an employee she refused to sit on the panel, saying it was not her area of expertise and that she'd had quite enough of "money-grabbing foster carers" in her career. Is it any wonder we get such a poor press when we shoot ourselves in the foot at every possible opportunity?