When it comes to sentence length, less is more. So stop rambling and embrace the full stop, says Graham Hopkins.
While reading something in a paper, magazine or book, have you ever found yourself lost - and having to go back and start a sentence again? Chances are that you've been reading a long, convoluted sentence and your brain has just given up.
Unlike Labour's prison policy, social care writing should be into shortening sentences. It makes things easier to read. But we should be careful not to over-egg the parsnips. For example: "The home is called Acid House. It is a home for older people. It has 25 residents. They are all female."
It's easy to understand, but its rat-a-tat approach is deadly dull. A sentence can serve as much information that is manageable in one bite. The above example could read, "Acid House is a home for 25 female residents." The four pieces of information are eminently chewable in one sentence.
A good guide would be to average about 15-17 words a sentence. That's average, mind. Indeed, you should look to vary sentence length as much as possible. It makes your writing more interesting.
But once your sentences start hitting the late 20s or mooch into a 30 or 40 word count, you need to consider employing the services of an honest-to-goodness full stop (or three). Take the following 29-word sentence: "You could also pick up a leaflet called 'Suggestions, comments or complaints about Social Services' at your local office, which explains how to comment in writing or by phone."
A sweetly placed full stop after "office" and a shift from "which" to "This" and, hey presto, we have two lean sentences (averaging 14.5 words) rather than one flabby one.
The example also highlights a couple of other points. If you have an overlong sentence, read it back. In there, somewhere, will be punctuation (possibly a semi-colon or colon but more than likely a comma). There's a good chance this could become a full stop. Similarly, look for conjunctions - words that join pieces of information together in sentences, such as "and", "but", "because", "however", "although" - to see if a full stop can be used. You might need to re-jig the start of the next sentence for it to make sense, but it's a small price to pay. The full stop should be the most popular piece of punctuation on your page.
Some things taught at school about English (there is no one quite like grammar) are at best dubious. But the old one about being able to get to the end of a sentence in one breath (unless you're Jacques Cousteau) is a good 'un. If you need a stop to breathe, so does your sentence.
- All contributors of amusing quotes, jargon, gobbledygook and management-speak will win a copy of either Plain English for Social Services or The Write Stuff both by Graham Hopkins and both published by Russell House (www.russellhouse.co.uk). Please send contributions to graham.hopkins@rbi.co.uk
Sitting tight
- "Peter is obviously becoming aware of toileting, but is not being pushed into anything."
From a child's form, thanks to our anonymous West Country contributor.
Sequel opportunity
"However, it is acknowledged that in other cases the sequel may only have reached the stage of being anticipated or intended, but not yet implemented. This return should include all of these sequels, and recognises that in some instances the actual sequel may eventually differ from the intended one."
From Information on Referrals, Assessments and Packages of Care, Department of Health.
Thanks to Tony Hubbard, performance assessment officer, Staffordshire Social Services