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In his book, The Future of Men, the author Dave Hill writes:"In the Eden of the future, things will be very different between Adam and Eve." He argues that new technology, shifts in employment patterns, changes in the structures of families and the voraciousness of consumerism have all played a crucial part in separating men from their former certainties and old conventions.¹ He suggests the king of the castle who fought wars and brought home the bacon has been rumbled, especially by women.

Men are under increasing scrutiny as individuals, as well as parents, partners, workers and friends. But what are the implications for social workers in their work with male service users? Should we be taking a more critical or compassionate look at men's emotional illiteracy and the intricacies of working with them?

Overall male socialisation in our society is not good for men - an assertion supported by the narrowing gap between rates of psychological distress in men and women over the past 30 years. Men's mental health has deteriorated relative to women's, shown by the startling increase in male suicides over the past 10 years. More men, especially the young, feel bad about themselves, about their relationships with partners, their children, or each other, and about not being able to work or working too hard. Stereotypical maleness is epitomised by the cultural ideals of masculinity as competitive, dominant, authoritarian and aggressive.

Masculinity involves a complex relationship between power and fear - often a fear of emotion. Describing his experience of being male since the 1940s, psychologist David Cohen writes: "When I was a little boy I was often told to be a man. When my marriage was breaking up my mother told me 'to be a man'. Being unforgiving and hard was the proper posture for a proper man."² Recently, his son Rueben Cohen told The Guardian: "The conditioning you go through as a male in this culture is not something you can avoid by knowing things on an intellectual level, or even by example. Despite being committed to a belief in equality, I've probably defaulted to sexism many, many times. In fact, I know I have. Everyone does."³

Male social workers, please note.

So how can we encourage and support men to change their behaviour so that their lives are less dominated by the dysfunctional effects of conditioning? Efforts are being made to understand male gender role conditioning and to explore some of the interpersonal consequences of masculine stereotyping. One example is Trefor Lloyd's identification of a series of practice themes in relation to developing work with fathers.⁴

The most important aspects are:

• Having clarity of purpose.
• Reaching fathers through more traditional "male" routes, such as radio, sports settings and pubs.
• Liking fathers and having a positive attitude towards them.
• Defining services in a way to attract a particular "type" of father.
• Accepting that recruitment takes a time and is labour intensive.
• Understanding fathers' motivation.
• A diversity of workers' skills and attitudes.
• Accepting fathers as men.
• Increasing the use of mainstream services by fathers.

This last theme is based on Lloyd's view that a valuable component of initiatives for fathers is the need to challenge men's attitudes towards support services and help-seeking, and also mainstream agencies' attitudes towards fathers and men generally.

As long ago as 1994, at an East Midlands men's health forum, Lloyd also highlighted more non-traditional approaches to working with men.

These include the need for:

• More anonymity. Most callers to helplines are men, particularly in relation to health issues.
• Accessible services, such as helplines.
• Community-based services available at times of crisis and out-of-hours services.
• Privacy. Men are particularly ashamed of seeking help and regard it as a sign of weakness.
• Discreet entrances and waiting areas.
• Male-friendly environments, for example positive images of boys and men around.
• More information about services.
• Culturally sensitive services.

Also pertinent is the use of appropriate language. For example, a move from "thinking words" to "feeling words" between the first and subsequent contacts. We must also accept that men are more in touch with feelings - other than anger or lust - than we may think.

Although not every problem presented by male service users is gender-related; many men I work with are constrained by rigid societal prescriptions that dictate how they should and should not act and think.

More attention also needs to be paid to the dynamics of males working with males, including the use of male workers as positive role models. I have been struck by the way in which the anxieties of male social workers mirror those of male service users. A recurring theme can be that, like other men, male professionals are burdened by a painful vacuum where relationships are concerned, often compounded by the experience of a distant, dispassionate father. This can result in an underlying homophobia, reflected in a general reluctance to demonstrate care and support to other men.

What most male social work managers and practitioners have learned about being male may not necessarily help them in the workplace. Many of the values and skills they learned as boys - competitiveness, autonomy and independence - are less important in today's organisations. Psychotherapists Janet Perry and Richard Wood write: "Organisations dominated by male attitudes and values are characterised by task and problem orientation, goal-setting, fast results and competitive practice." They suggest organisations with female values are "process-oriented, emphasise co-operation and connectedness, are characterised by exploration of feelings and value individual experience as part of the method of evaluation".⁵

For female workers, a tendency to adopt the role of care giver, especially as a mother figure, can result in a reluctance to challenge male power. Alternatively, some men report that women workers punish them for the sins of other men. For male and female workers alike, being open, honest and understanding towards the experience of being male can provide important learning opportunities for all, alongside unique therapeutic benefits. How the male social worker sees himself as a man and how the female social worker sees herself as a woman have significant implications in the helping process.

Finally, and perhaps crucially, for many social workers, links between what constitutes maleness and male violence cannot be ignored when considering issues around work with men. For example, concerns about the abuse of children, domestic violence, and violence carried out by separated fathers during contact with children all contribute to a belief that all men are a safety risk to women and children.

There are several reasons why social workers avoid or ignore men in child protection work. The most common cited by social studies academic Kieran O'Hagan⁶ are the public and professional perceptions of the roles of men and women, hostility and distrust of men, and lack of training. There are no easy answers but listening to women and children, and to those men who can and do give an honest account of their violent behaviour, and their success at giving it up, would be a start. Taking account of the social context of male power and not separating out violent men as examples of individual problematic behaviour, independent from the social origins of and support for male violence would also help.

It is no wonder that, faced with the typical male, most social workers find it easier to work with women. Social work with men is happening, but it is still work in progress.

John Roberts is a social worker with male service users at Leicester Family Service Unit. Contact him on 0116 254 3352 or e-mail: leicdads@hotmail.com

References

¹ Dave Hill, The Future of Men, Phoenix, 1997

² David Cohen, Being a Man, Routledge, 1990

³ Kira Cochrane, "Children of the revolution", The Guardian Weekend, 1 March, 2003

⁴ Trefor Lloyd, What Works with Fathers, Working With Men, 2001

⁵ Janet Perry and Richard Wood, "Gender issues", The Care Guide. A Handbook for the Caring Professions and other Agencies, p206-13 Cassel, 1995

⁶ Kieran O’Hagan, "The problem of engaging men in child protection work", British Journal of Social Work, p25-42, 27, 1997