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The tears trickled down my face, over the scabs caused by stress and malnutrition. Then came huge sobs - I could barely breathe for crying. I was 24 and sitting in an accident and emergency department with abscesses covering the length of each arm and the backs of my legs. I also had an array of blue and purple bruises covering almost every inch of my body, including my neck. To make matters worse, two children were swapping seats to stare in awe at the pus oozing out of my abscesses.


This was all the result of a £200 a day crack-cocaine and heroin addiction. I had supported it for years through my partner who sold drugs, despite his frequent, violent attacks. That night in A&E I felt dejected, totally humiliated and more isolated and empty inside then ever. I had reached my lowest ever point - physically, emotionally and mentally. Finally I realised that drugs were not the answer to my problems.

Two years later my life is the complete opposite. I have a new house, a new car and I am studying on a practitioners' skills course and for an MSc degree in addiction counselling. I also work voluntarily as a peer support worker and in a paid capacity as a trainee counsellor at Ripple Drug Services in Bradford.

Next month I hope to start employment for Ripple on its criminal justice intervention programme. I recently attended an international conference for addiction treatment professionals in Atlanta, US. On my return I took part in a user consultation interview with the National Treatment Agency's commissions board.

The most valuable commodity I have gained is peace of mind. Now I have excellent relationships with my family and some true friendships. I know exactly who I am.

How did I change from simply existing, to having such an exciting and fulfilling life? Well, I attended Ripple's day care rehabilitation programme, which uses the 12-step philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous. This approach is combined with one-to-one counselling, facilitated group sessions, didactic teaching to help me understand my addiction, and learning life-skills and coping strategies. Initially I hated the programme but I kept on going because it provided me with hope and the knowledge that I was not alone. From seeing others who were in recovery from addiction, and leading successful lives, I gained the belief that it was possible for me too. I can safely say that a methadone prescription alone was not sufficient treatment for me, after all I had had one for four out of the five years I was using.


I needed a holistic treatment because drug addiction attacks every aspect of your life. I faced my fears and the pain of my past and it was definitely worth it. A friend of mine says that all of us who come into recovery are warriors and we truly are. I know that if I continue to work the 12 steps and attend Narcotics Anonymous, I can not only remain drug-free but also have a "life beyond my wildest dreams," just as the literature promises. I have that already. Just imagine what the future holds.

Kate Brightmore is a recovering drug addict and a drug agency volunteer.