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So the summer holidays are looming and we still haven’t had any news on our child and adolescent mental health services referral.

James’s behaviour has been particularly difficult to cope with, and puts tremendous strain on all of us. I feel increasingly isolated and am at a loss to know how to deal with the worst behaviour.

Over the bank holiday weekend in May we had a dreadful day. James decided to turn the garden hose on his sister and his dad in the garden despite urgent requests "not to even think about it". The windows got the garden hose treatment, as did our next door neighbour’s washing. We sent him to his room - he refused to go, so we threatened to confiscate his favourite toys.

By now James was descending into the depths of a fairly major tantrum. He was screaming at me, stomped upstairs and threw the toys in question down the stairs. Sometimes my emotional resources are well-stocked enough to try and deal with this sort of behaviour, but not on this occasion.

I went up to his room to find that he had removed wet bedclothes and left them to soak into the carpet, and that there was a more worrying unpleasant smell in the air. The cause was soon clear - a small mountain of badly soiled pants had been hidden behind James’s chest of drawers and a cursory glance in the bin uncovered the usual pile of wrappers from secretly eaten food.

James, meanwhile, was lying on the landing, soaking wet and screaming at the top of his voice. I told him to get changed. "Never," he screamed as he kicked the bannisters.

I completely lost my temper as my anger, frustration, worry and sadness overwhelmed me. I screamed at him as loudly as he screamed at me and dragged him into the bathroom to get washed. It was a horribly ugly scene.

We screamed and shouted at each other - I descended to the level of argument of an angry child and said some awful things - and I felt terrible afterwards. I know that this challenging behaviour is a response to what is wrong in James’s life, but when you are in the thick of it, it is all too easy to respond inappropriately.

The bottom line is that we need help, James needs help, and that help becomes more urgent as every week goes by.