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The Oxford Dictionary defines stammering as "speaking with halting articulation, especially with pauses or rapid repetitions of the same syllable". While this describes what happens, it gives no clue to the misery that children who stammer feel when they are unable to join in conversations because they can't get their words out.

On the British Stammering Association's website, a teenager explains the reaction he faced when he asked a teacher if he could get something from his classroom: "I just stood there and repeated I... I... I ...  He replied - 'Is this a bloody song?' I felt awful and sat down. This comment made worse the cruel mickey-taking that was already going on."

Stammering has affected people throughout history, in all parts of the world and all levels of society. It's got nothing to do with intelligence. The most effective way to head off difficulties is for help to be available when they first appear.

How does it start?

Usually these are first recognised between the ages of three and five, though it is widely accepted that 5 per cent of pre-school children (twice as many boys as girls) will stammer at some time during their speech and language development. Most recover spontaneously, but up to 75 per cent are at serious risk of developing chronic stammering, continuing into adulthood, unless they receive early help.

Repeating words or sounds is normal for two- to five-year-olds, but when it is more than just a usual searching for a word, or when the child is distressed, it is important to seek help. Unfortunately no one can yet distinguish between children who will recover unaided and those who will go on to stammer as adults. If in doubt, call in a speech and language therapy specialist, advises the BSA.

What causes stammering?

No one knows exactly what causes stammering but parents aren't the cause, experts agree.

Researchers and clinicians say there is no single cause and suggest that a combination of physiological, neurological, psychological and environmental factors makes one person more vulnerable than another. Stammering tends to run in families, so genetics could play a part, perhaps in the inheritance of particular strengths and weaknesses in processing language. Contrary to popular myth, all the research indicates that people who stammer are no more anxious or neurotic than anyone else, although they are probably more worried than others about speaking in certain situations.

Help is at hand.

Speech and language therapist Frances Cook suggests ways to help children and young people who stammer.

The younger child

• If you think the child might be stammering, talk to the parents/carers, but privately rather than in a group: refer to a speech and language therapist if in doubt.
• Therapists, parents and carers should liaise to make sure everyone uses the same strategies.
• Avoid saying the word for the child - give them time to finish it themselves.
• Slow down the rate at which you speak.
• Don't tell the child to slow down or take a deep breath - it can become part of the struggle.
• Don't ask lots of questions, one after another. Just as one and give them time to reply.
• Keep your language simple.
• Deal with unkind behaviour immediately, eg mimicking or sniggering.

The older child

In addition to the above tips:

• Acknowledge their difficulty on a one-to-one basis, not in front of a group, and discuss ways you might help to reduce pressures.
•  Don't guess what they have to say.
• Concentrate on listening to the person and the message, don't get sidetracked by the struggle.
• Speak, as far as possible, in a relaxed way yourself, because they will be very aware of the other person's reaction.
• Use the same eye contact as with a fluent student.

Cook is manager of the Michael Palin Centre for Stammering Children in London.

'He couldn't say what he wanted'

"I knew from six months old this child was different - he didn't want to communicate, there was no babbling or gurgling, he wanted to be very much alone and his social skills were terrible. When he first started school his speech was very primitive and when he did start speaking he had his stammer straight away."

At the end of his first year, however, Sandra realised he could do much more than the teachers thought he could. He did no reading or arithmetic at school, but at home he was happily doing subtraction sums.

"When they said 'Count up to 10' he was conscious he might stammer, so he just said, 'I can't do it'," says Sandra. "Everyone probably sees him as a naughty child, but he wasn't naughty, he was frustrated because he just couldn't say what he wanted."

A therapist told Sandra 'not to worry about Connor's stammering difficulties until he was 18', but thankfully, when he was almost 10, they came across the Michael Palin Centre for Stammering Children.

"When we got there it was heartbreaking to see children who were pre-school and we thought, 'We've wasted all this time, we should have been here sooner.' But as soon as you stop thinking negatively and get on with dealing with it it's a lot better."

Connor had never seen another child stammer before arriving at the centre, says Sandra. "The group therapy at the centre was a fantastic thing, where the boys can all be together and they realise 'there are other people like me and I'm not so different.'"

Sandra's advice for parents and carers is: "Don't let stammering take over your life. Make them do things, don't wrap them up in cotton wool. The home must be a safe haven, though. If they've tried all day to correct the way they're talking just give them a breather when they're at home, let them get on with life.

"They're very strong characters, these stammerers. People think they're all shy and nervous but they're not, they're far from it, they'll conquer a lot... stand back and let them get on and just be there for them."

Sandra Roberts is the mother of 12-year-old Connor.

Michael Palin Centre website: www.stammeringcentre.org

British Stammering Association website: www.stammering.org