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Peter Pan parents fail as gatekeepers

Posted: 03 March 2005 | Subscribe Online


Half of teenage girls, in a survey commissioned by the teenage magazine, Bliss, say they cannot cope with the pressures of modern life. The study questioned 2,000 girls with an average age of 14. One in three of the teenagers interviewed said they were not part of a "happy family"; 37 per cent said their parents had separated and only 32 per cent said they felt greatly loved. Six out of 10 admit to feeling insecure about their looks.

"Cannabis has been downgraded and 24-hour a day drinking is on the horizon. It's a free for all," says Bliss editor Lisa Smorsarski .
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Acute self-consciousness, angst and the conviction that all adults are from another planet determined to spitefully sabotage the pleasures of youth have long been a part of teenage life.

However, the added ingredient that we also have today, in some quarters, is a reversion back to the middle ages when, for the young, there was no childhood, only a miniature version of the adult world.

Young people have easy access to a grown-up and frightening universe through television, DVDs and the internet. In addition, the cult of the celebrity continues to give an inflated value to the superficial; while magazines and the TV soaps portray personal relationships as a wasteland of betrayal, cruelty and infidelity - too often reflected in reality at home.

Popular culture, however, has always gone against the grain of family life. In the 1950s, parents fretted about the adverse effects of rock 'n' roll. What's perhaps different today is that too few adults are willing or able to act as gatekeepers for their children, protecting them from the more perverse aspects of the outside world. We also appear to have an increase in Peter Pan parents, themselves unwilling to grow up, who are consciously catapulting their children prematurely into the life of an older teenager; little women before their time.
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It's mothers who buy highly sexualised clothes for the under-10s and encourage them to "date" long before their teens. One of the long-term consequences of too much, too soon and a huge concentration on appearance for young women who lack confidence, direction or aspirations is, at times, self-destructive and challenging behaviour .

Two-thirds of the girls interviewed in the survey believed that it was easier for their parents when they were young. It probably was for a variety of reasons, not least that then children were allowed to grow up at their own pace.

Yvonne Roberts


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