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In the recent report by The Education Network, there are about 175,000 young carers in this country looking after older relatives, disabled siblings and, mainly, disabled parents. About one third are involved in intimate personal care and 2 per cent care for more than 50 hours a week.

The authors of the survey claim that many young carers go unrecognised by the caring agencies, and even schools. One fifth miss school frequently, they are more likely to under-achieve academically and are more likely to be bullied.

As I am a disabled parent, I remembered the decisions I made when I acquired my disability: to be as good a parent as I could be and to ensure that my children did not become responsible for my care. I believe that they should take responsibility within the family, but not beyond their emotional maturity. And personal care for a disabled parent is, in my opinion, beyond their emotional scope.

Being responsible for someone's care at an early age has measurable consequences in terms of educational attainment, but there must also be effects on the child's emotional development. Where is the space for developing and exploring peer relationships, making mistakes, rebellion? Why would parents impose such responsibility on their children when they risk damaging their futures?

I can think of two reasons. First, the shame of publicly admitting that the family cannot function "properly"; second, the fear that, if they admit they cannot look after themselves, the family will be forcibly broken up. You may think these fears are outdated, but there are many people who still have them. If parents have these fears, their children may (naturally) share their beliefs, and become willing participants.

There are families like this known to every social services department. Young carers, when recognised, are supported: I argue that they should be gently relieved of their caring responsibilities and allowed some kind of childhood and their parents helped to realise that it is no shame to seek help when you need it. It's working for me.