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Who has had the biggest influence on you?
My lovely Irish grandfather, who was born illegitimate in a workhouse and was fostered.

Which health or social care professional has been most use to you?
The therapists in our foster care agency.

If you ran care services in your area what would you do differently?
Properly fund them.

What three words best describe you?
My foster child would say "old, fat and annoying"; my girlfriend would say "beautiful, loyal and funny".

What event most changed your life?

Seeing a film about South African babies dying because of apartheid when I was 12.

What one thing would you ban?
Young people saying "whatever".

Who or what is your dream date?
Me and my girlfriend boogie-boarding.

What is your greatest achievement?
Bringing up three children as a single parent and getting a doctorate at the same time.

What has been your most embarrassing moment?
Luckily I don't get embarrassed, which helps when foster children shout out "you're a lesbian" in public to try and make me squirm.


What makes you happy?
Hanging out the washing and calling the wind up to dry the clothes.

When were you last angry?
When Blair went to war.

Who do you most admire?
My friend Asphodel Long, "thealogian", Jewish poet and teacher, who has just died.

• We would like to hear from any service users who wish to be the subject of If You Ask Me. Please e-mail Anabel.Unity.Sale@rbi.co.uk