I adopted two children from China after having several
miscarriages. The process was nerve-wracking and traumatic for me
and my husband and for the two girls, but they have now settled
(see panel).
But inter-country adoption (ICA) polarises professionals and
society. Advocates argue that to be taken into a loving family is
in the interests of abandoned or orphaned children, who may not
have any hope of being adopted in their country of origin.
Opponents say it is a form of colonialism, the worst form of human
exploitation masquerading as kindness, in which the privileged are
taking the children of the world's most exploited people and
depriving them of their racial and cultural communities. As is so
often the case, there is truth on both sides of the debate, but
what seems to be missing from UK legislation is a coherent
framework to balance the positives and dangers of ICA.
(1) E Bartholet, "International adoption: propriety, prospects and pragmatics", Journal of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers Vol 13 (2), 1996
'The handover was overwhelming'
I married at 38 with hopes of having children, but after several
miscarriages, we turned to the idea of adoption. We knew we would
be low priority for a very young child from within Britain, and we
didn't feel up to the extra challenges of adopting an older child.
For us, China seemed the obvious destination.
My sister had already adopted a little girl from China and we felt
there was a genuine need for overseas adopters, given the pressure
on families to abandon baby girls, and with domestic adoption of
these infants made difficult by the government's strict population
control policy.
I was very nervous of making the first phone call to social
services - I had read about the problems many potential adopters
face. But luckily we were given a sympathetic social worker.
The home study took four months, with a three-hour visit to our
flat every two weeks. We had to discuss our lives in huge detail.
It was particularly difficult for me to talk about my childhood, as
my mother had committed suicide when I was nine.
In the end we were passed, and our papers were processed by the
Department of Health, and sent to China. We waited another year
before we received our referral from the China Centre of Adoption
Affairs in Beijing - a photograph of our daughter Jade who was then
11 months old and in foster care. A few weeks later we travelled to
Xi'an in Shaanxi Province to meet her.
The handover in our hotel was overwhelming. It was wonderful to
hold Jade for the first time, but it was also very abrupt. There
had been no meetings beforehand for us to get to know each other,
and it must have been traumatic for her as she had been taken from
adoring foster parents whom we were not allowed to meet. She also
had a foster sister who was adopted by a British couple around the
same time, but we didn't manage to find them until several years
later. But in spite of the sudden changes Jade adapted well and
quickly bonded with us.
Two and a half years later we were in China again adopting another
little girl, Rose.
Jade is now nearly five years old, enjoying school and overcoming
earlier difficulties with speaking. Rose is two and a real live
wire. Every Sunday morning I take the girls to a Mandarin class and
at the same time we parents have a lesson too. I hope that through
links made at the school and via the charity The Mothers' Bridge of
Love, which works to help adoptive families bridge the cultural
gaps, we will be able to build more friendships with Chinese
people.
Youth Justice and the Youth Justice Board
26 August 2008
Substance misuse
15 August 2008
Details of government consultations
21 August 2008
Private Member Bills
25 July 2008
Government Legislation
25 July 2008