Community care minister Stephen Ladyman was recently asked about the importance of "Modern Methods of Construction" for builders of Extra Care Housing Units. Ah, said Ladyman, recalling that these guidelines came from the deputy prime minister's office: "As health minister, I don't give a stuff about how they are built." So much for joined-up government then.

Food, glorious food. It seems that children's social workers have become overwhelmed by the spirit of Jamie Oliver's school dinners campaign. At the recent annual 4Children conference in London, food analogies abounded ad nauseam. Children's trusts were described as "onion-shaped" by a Department for Education and Skills official, while one children's centre manager disagreed, claiming his service "was more like a Toblerone". While the ubiquitous TV chef Oliver got a glowing mention, Association of Directors of Social Services president Tony Hunter was entirely swept away by the culinary theme and showed bemused delegates pictures of soup and salad to illustrate the new children's services arrangements.

MPs are not famed for their ability to be down with the kids but reassuringly at least one of those involved in debating the Drugs Bill is brushing up on youth lingo. Labour MP Stephen Pound added this valuable contribution during the second reading of the bill: "I know little of magic mushrooms. To be honest, I thought they were a cartoon invention. I did not realise that there were such things as what my teenage son calls 'shrooms'."

Newly appointed children's commissioner Al Aynsley-Green showed his close affection for one of the greatest children's comic heroes of all time at the recent 4Children conference. He showed delegates a picture of Dennis the Menace and Gnasher to illustrate his speech. "Here's Dennis, about to have an Asbo imposed on him," Aynsley-Green joked. "And while some people in the media describe me as a 'poodle,' I would like to say that [pointing to Gnasher] is me."