Last night I caught the end of the BBC's new “The One Show” just as Adoption UK director Jonathan Pearce was being asked whether it was ever appropriate to tell someone they were too fat to adopt.
The question from presenter Justin Rowlatt was posed as a result of an earlier meeting with Gillian, a child care worker from Darwen who had recently been informed that she was not a suitable adoptive parent for the girl she had been caring for after all.
A letter from Blackburn and Darwen Council suggested her weight was the main issue. It said she had struggled to get out of a chair, and suggested she attend Weight Watchers (although the council later denied that weight was the “determining factor” in the case).
This is not the first time size has been mentioned in relation to a prospective adopter and is unlikely to be the last. But it raises several questions.
Firstly, the adoption approval process is not a quick one. If Gillian’s weight was going to be an issue, why wasn’t it raised sooner rather than when she was just weeks away from adopting and had already formed a bond with the child?
Secondly, overweight people who may also struggle to get out of chairs and benefit from a stint at Weight Watchers are not, as far as I am aware, banned from having offspring.
Thirdly, wouldn’t it have been less drastic to simply offer Gillian some advice on dieting and nutrition rather than disrupt a child’s placement?
The issue here is about double standards. It is unfair to single out prospective adopters as too fat to parent while other overweight parents continue to stuff their children with McDonalds and KFC unchallenged.
I am obviously not advocating for any child to be placed in a harmful situation: all decisions must be made in the child’s best interests. But the fact is that Gillian was already caring for this child in spite of her weight and probably would have responded quite positively to a quiet word about how chasing a young child around might be easier if she lost a few pounds.
With so many children desperate to be adopted and a stringent adoption approval process already in place, there really is no room for additional unnecessary barriers.
The answer is better education for all on healthy eating and exercise, not extra restrictions on those willing to open up their homes and lives to children in need of a family.