The Child Minder

Hayley - it's Amanda from Supportive Lodgings here (was Laurie when you knew me and the organisation was Emmaus not Step by Step). Your article is great and I'm so proud to have had a very small part in your life which you have obviously turned around so significantly in the past few years. You should have seen the grin on my face just now when I opened up Community Care magazine and saw you there! Well done for all your great achievements. If ever you want to catch up, send me an email.

All the very best,

Amanda

Dear Hayley,I found it so very interesting to read your article in Community Care. You should be extremely proud. I am a social worker myself and I worry a lot about what the children I work with think and how they feel, particularly when they are looked after children. I am glad that you put your true feelings down on paper, I think we all need to hear how others feel about their life situations. I was extremely touched by what you wrote and will always remember it. It appears that you have fought some of the diversities in your life and have developed into a very interesting, talented and intelligent individual. I was also extremely impressed with what everyone else wrote in the Editorial Team, particularly what Michael, 18 wrote. I think he writes with such thought and passion and I wondered if you could let him know that just by reading what he said, I believe that he is a very special person also and I would like him to know this. We should all strive to be an angel to the children that we work with. Thank you all in the Editorial Team for reminding myself and others, to consider the feelings of the children we work with more deeply, after all you are the children and young people of the future. Nicola

Hi Hayley
It was good reading what you and others wrote about your time in the care system.

You are lucky to get the opportunity with Community Care.

I have been trying to speak out for years and wrote and paid for my book The Nameless Social Worker because I wanted to speak out about the state of Social Work today and how it could be better.

I recognise all that you said in your article from my visits to children homes and what others said about foster carers.
I was the social worker who visited very regularly and tried to remain human but this is extremely difficult when all the forms are dumped on you.

That is why I now work for peanuts as a social worker in a school trying to get all schools to have direct links to an active social worker with human traits.
I would love to hear from you
Rachelbramble@yahoo.co.uk

Reading Haley Prew's and Fatmata's articles really interested me and I could associate exactly to what they were saying although not personaly experienced it from their side so i stand to be corrected on my comments.
I in my second career worked in a care home for a short period and now work as a Youth and Leaving Care P.A. The biggest problem i find at 16 till they are 21 is getting care leavers to be able to hold down a job and stay long term in their own independent accommodation. So when i sat down with a group of care leavers over a christmas dinner and asked theuir views on this they all agreed on a similar point. That in care everything is done for them, much more than say a parent would do in a family home. They all laughed at the fact that if you made up your mind that you were going to stay in bed and not go to school the attitude was "well its their rights so dont go" where as with my personal kids and i imagine others its your going like it or not.They all agreed that this attitude of having everything laid on a plate like being taken everywhere and not having to take responcibility etc was bad preparation for the real world. Once these habits of everythings done for me is set its hard to suddenly break out of and start getting up and attending work as a routine way of life.
I suspect part of this is due to Haleys comments on staff not caring and perhaps its easier to just do it for the young people than teach, show and then make them do it.
What i do know is that when they get to my stage it is very hard to change their ways and i am convinced the system from an early age needs to be looked at for the long term affect. Obviously Haley is an exception to the rule in my opinion.

One of the biggest problems is that when a child goes through so much pain and suffering from, past experience, the can't or dont let go, they find it hard to forgive some one, so they start to become agressive to others, when they find it hard to deal with life on there own.
In turn they become the person that brought them into life,growing the same attitude and actions as the one's that put them into the situation in the first place. how ever hard they try or how ever hard people try to help.
They become stubben to help, and cage themselves into a coocon. They start to look into books for answers, never wanting to no actions like make a change, change there ways, change there habbits, forgive, develop, LOVE, Care, calm down. Unless they are shown that people are there and willing to help in the care homes.

Hi Hayley

I have just read your article and thought how great it was that you shared your experiences in such an articulate way. It is refreshing to hear about someone else who talks about things I can relate to and feel.
As a care leaver now 25 I still fight hard to 'let go' of my past and become a 'worthy' 'valued' person, although it is piecing together slowly.
I had a baby boy when I was 17 at the same time as leaving care, and for as long as I can remember I have been isolated and alone, but determined to rebuild my life and focus on the future. I went to university and in July I qualified as a social worker.
I feel really strongly about working with children and families in an empowering way. I feel professionals working with vulnerable people should try to gain some perspective about how they may feel and the problems they may face, just like your articles. I agree with you that specific training is needed especially in childrens homes where some of the staff are not necessarily trained to be able to deal with certain situations.
It is hard for the good social workers out there, as there is a lot of paperwork involved in your daily work which can detract from the job you are trained to do working for children and families.

I just wanted to say thank-you for all your feedback relating to my articles. Some of you have made some really nice comments, so again thank-you. I hope that this causes some much needed change within the system.

Hi Hayley
I have just read your article and can confirm your story is true. I worked with you at the end of you time in the care system and feel proud of what you acheived with your strong determination. I just want to remind you that not all social workers are the same. Some care and try their best within the system and try to go that extra mile. I agree with you though that so much as yet still to change and I hope your article reaches those that can do something about it. You made a great impression on me when I worked with you now you have just made me so proud to have known you. Keep up your good work.
I wish you all the best for your future and you know my number if you want to pick up the phone. Love Janice

Hello Haley,
After I read your article I soon felt a sence of not being the only one. I recently recommited to the cabinet so that I could go to college for free and as soon as I did they removed me from the foster home, that I stayed at for three years, and placed me in a different home. It is just pleasing to me that their are others out there that feel the same way I do about the "system". Hopefully my social workers will read this and be influenced on how much they can change our lives by doing there jobs because they love it and not just for the money.