John's Weird World

Charming worms

So this year's competition was as usual in Rowntree Park, and I helped set up the grid which delineates the plots. My children came down and entered the competition, and it started with all 16 plots being taken and various methods used to charm the worms up. However, our boys weren't getting any so my wife and I joined in and soon our team had some in the pot. The time to finish was announced and the teams left the plots, leaving their pots of worms to be collected. A minute or so after this, I spotted a worm which had been charmed by my boys on the surface of their plot and I reached in and put it into their pot... in the heat of the moment you understand...

A charm-off!

Now this wouldn't have mattered if they hadn't have got a winning number of worms... they'd got joint first, so there was a 'charm-off' with the two teams going back to their plot and the first to charm a worm out of the soil would be the winner... and soon they'd done it! They'd won... but helped by my little cheat. I didn't want to spoil the moment, and felt a bit embarrassed by what I'd done, so I said nothing, and let them take the glory. However the knowledge that I'd behaved unethically ate away at my conscience and later that evening I confessed my sin to my sons. My eldest, who has an even stronger sense of right and wrong than me, was very keen that I tell the organisers, and that we should return the prize, an Original Organics Junior Wormery for turning food waste into 'black gold' worm castings. My wife said that if I confessed to cheating that my reputation would be ruined... but I sided with my son, and emailed the organiser and 'fessed up.

Cheating tactics

I got a very understanding reply, which alluded to some very serious cheating tactics in some of the national heats of the World Championships, and kindly said that my indiscretion was not too bad. However, our offer of donating the wormery to the other winning team was accepted, which meant that I felt a whole lot better. We all know that honesty is the best policy and that if we've knowingly done something wrong, it doesn't do our mental health any good...

The best policy for recycling most food waste is a wormery, and worms are always honest. They truthfully eat at least their own weight each day and turn waste into rich soil improver and liquid 'worm tea' (or worm wee in some households!) which if diluted, can be used to make houseplants grow better. As well as Original organics, try Wiggly Wigglers as suppliers. I have a top of the range Can O Worms wormery which is cunningly designed in layers so that the worms burrow up into the fresh material (if you can call mouldy food fresh!) leaving their casts behind in lower trays. I recommend wormeries especially for people not able to have a compost bin, such as residents of flats or with a small yard. If you don't compost or 'vermicompost' your food waste, there's a good chance it will end up in landfill and cause the powerful global warming gas methane to be emitted, so worms can help save the planet. Honest!