That's the trouble with the older people of today. They just have no respeck. They sit idly around all day on park benches, swigging Lucozade, talking about the war - loudly I might say - and waving their sticks and pipes to emphasise some point they are making.
Some of them can't even be bothered to wear a hood, although I notice that transparent plastic headscarves are "in". I ask you.
A posse of these poor role models have had the attitude to big it up with a housing association in Mottingham, south London, which has had to field complaints from younger people complaining about the noise and hilarity coming from the benches.
As if social housing organisations haven't got anything better to do.
So bad did the group's joie de vivre become that Broomleigh Housing Association threatened to remove the benches where the group (age range 60s to 90s) hung out.
Why stop there? As a park bench is the natural repository for the feet of young people who perch their posteriors on the backrest, the Mottingham Crew were blatantly misusing public property.
One answer to this cocking a snook at authority would be to issue a series of Asbos. Primarily intended for adults, as we know these are used far too often to curtail the freedom of expression exercised by younger people. With this bunch of sherry sippers causing a daily disturbance, a curfew could be imposed during the hours of daylight or even a simple ban from green spaces, including window boxes.
Another solution would be to spend millions to invent a Mosquito for older people.
This ingenious device emits an uncomfortable high-pitched whine that could be effective in the war on bus-stop banter. Trouble is, the pitch can only be picked up by the ears of under-25s.
Something louder would be needed. Perhaps an air raid siren, seeing as this lot spend so much time discussing the Blitz (although a side-effect could be the sudden filling of deep-level Tube stations with Freedom pass holders).
There is a much simpler solution which I propose: stick 'em all in Dad's Army.
Blears blogs bleat
The communities secretary, Hazel Blears, has had a go at us bloggers, thinking that we fuel cynicism about politicians.
So let me, at this point, offer a belated welcome back to the Cabinet to the business secretary and occasional yachtsman, Lord Peter Mandelson.
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