By Derren Hayes
Shock horror, Barack Obama is a smoker. "A smoker" I hear you cry. That's right. Surely, this must call into question whether he is fit to take office?
In all the thousands of column inches I've read about the Illinois senetor leading up to last week's presidential election, I'd never once seen it mentioned he was a smoker - his dirty secret only came out (to me) after he'd won the race to the White House. If only I'd known I would have changed my allegiance to the chap with the short arms.
It seems he hood winked us all. Or maybe, it was simply not mentioned because it is irrelevant to his ability to run the country, even in a health-obsessed nation like the US.
The point of this? At the same time millions of Americans were voting Obama into office, Redbridge Council took a decision to no longer place looked after children with foster carers who smoke. The ban will come into force from 2010 so at least those carers who already smoke have time to quit the evil weed.
It is being introduced to protect the lungs of fostered children due to the risks posed by second hand smoke. While its an admirable stance for the council to take from a public health point of view I can't help but feel it is (a) dictatorial and (b) impractical. Does the fact that someone is a smoker outweigh the love, care and support that they may otherwise be able to offer a vulnerable child who has no home? How is it going to be policed? Are we going to have unannounced spot checks on foster carers by council staff? What happens if the fostered child starts smoking when they turn 16 as they are legally able to do? And at a time when society generally is struggling to attract enough foster carers can we afford to be so picky?
Based on this policy the president of the USA wouldn't fit the criteria for adopting and it makes me fear this could be the thin end of the wedge. Will we soon limit fostering to those with a BMI of no more than 21, who eat five portions of fruit and veg a day and exercise for 30 minutes at least five times a week?
My wife and I are foster carers and foster 3 children. I am a smoker who provides a smoke free enviroment for all children in my care. I do not smoke in the house or car at any time. I never smoke in view of the children we care for. I do believe there is a danger to health from passive smoking and have ensured my actions affect only me. I am currently attending a smoke cessation course and do intend to quit this habit of over 30 years. All this aside I have just been informed by the agency through whom we foster that their policy has changed I that we will not be concidered as carers for children under 5 years old. This due to the adverse effect of 'third hand smoke' It appears the agency are more concerned with future litigation than in the current welfare of children in care. We provide a loving, nurturing enviroment for children in our care. Ps I also have a slight problem with my BMI and am not a great lover of fruit. Should I be considering a career change?
Another prime example is smoking. If you teach your children that smoking is bad but are a smoker yourself, your children will think that it is okay. If they see a parent who smokes as happy, healthy and loving, the connection between smoking and disease will never be made. No matter what you tell them about the negative effects of smoking, all they see is a smoker living a happy, normal life. In this case there are two options: to be miserable, angry and depressed to connect smoking with sickness, or to quit smoking. When making health choices it is important to remember that the effects of these decisions affect not only you, but your children as well.
Oh for god's sake. I'm a foster carer. i dont smoke. My partner is in the process of getting approved. He smokes, in the garden , and has given up 5 times in the three year we have been living together. Stopping smoking is really difficult.
Caring for a disturbed, challenging child is difficult. Doing it on top of two full time jobs and 3 other kids is difficult. Accompanying aforementioned child into hospital after an overdose is difficult. Being threatened and having our property damaged and destroyed on an almost daily basis is difficult. Being simultaneously patronised, marginalised and negected by social workers is difficult. Fighting to get a foster child into the school we think best for them is difficult. Fighting social services, btw, who dont want to pay for the transport, not the education authority, who have given the child a place. Accessing any mental health support for the child, never mind the right mental health support, is difficult. Don't even bother dreaming about getting the best mental health support. Because that, you've guessed it, is beyond difficult.
We've made a committment to the child in question, one that goes beyond the cr@p we put up with from her, and from the social workers.I'd like to think that looking back, the child will understand what we were trying to do.
I've met social workers who get why we are so frustrated, but they can't help us. I meet as many who have no comprehension of why we are even trying.
Smoking? Don't make me laugh.