The other day I met a social worker. I know, big news for a social work
journalist, eh?! But, given that we meet outside work, the surprising thing was she admitted to me that
she was a social worker in the first place. I have seen people get
verbally harangued by ordinarily reasonable strangers at parties for
simply admitting that fact.
This individual was well acquainted with adverse reactions and was a serial liar when it came to her day job. She had held a number of imaginary jobs to avoid an ear bashing by those whose experience of social workers was shaped more by headlines than handshakes, but she was quite positive about the false truths she told. To her it wasn't lying, it was just a series of opportunities to reinvent herself with every new acquaintance.
So with that attitude in mind here are my suggestions for your next imaginary entry on your CV.
Children's Puppeteer
It's a simple fact of humanity that no-one hates puppets. But be careful not to stray into clown territory many find them just creepy.
Say: "Yeah I hate doing the crocodile during a Punch and Judy show, he's just not expressive enough."
Don't say: "If only I could get away from all the pesky kids."
Sea-world aquarium cleaner
It's important that no-one actually knows what this involves so go the whole hog and pretend you spend each day underwater playing with dolphins.
Say: "I was heartbroken when Flipper had to be released into the wild."
Don't say: "Who's for fish and chips?"
Beekeeper
Bees are dying out, you're keeping them alive. If anyone does have a problem with this you can threaten to set your bees on them.
Say: "Bees pollinate a huge number of the plants that we grow for food. Without people like me we'd all starve."
Don't say: "It's a shame I can't keep my children in a small box as well."
Should social workers have to lie about their job? What would you say you did?
So with that attitude in mind here are my suggestions for your next imaginary entry on your CV.
Children's Puppeteer
It's a simple fact of humanity that no-one hates puppets. But be careful not to stray into clown territory many find them just creepy.
Say: "Yeah I hate doing the crocodile during a Punch and Judy show, he's just not expressive enough."
Don't say: "If only I could get away from all the pesky kids."
Sea-world aquarium cleaner
It's important that no-one actually knows what this involves so go the whole hog and pretend you spend each day underwater playing with dolphins.
Say: "I was heartbroken when Flipper had to be released into the wild."
Don't say: "Who's for fish and chips?"
Beekeeper
Bees are dying out, you're keeping them alive. If anyone does have a problem with this you can threaten to set your bees on them.
Say: "Bees pollinate a huge number of the plants that we grow for food. Without people like me we'd all starve."
Don't say: "It's a shame I can't keep my children in a small box as well."
Should social workers have to lie about their job? What would you say you did?
very funny certianly made my day
passed this onto the team
thank you
usaully just say that in the 24th century Counsellor Troi was a social worker before siging aboard the Enterprise D
or
I am a journalist (actually maybe not that would be even more suspect lol)