So here is one little trade-off I made with Life. I didn't realize I was making this trade-off, of course, until the realization hit me that Life didn't hold up her end of the bargain. I agree to take a job that puts me on the front lines with people who are suicidal. I agree to go and talk to these people, listen to these people, send these people to the hospital if I have to. But most importantly, I agree to be confronted with overwhelming sadness and desperation on a regular basis and not lose my mind.
Life, in turn, is supposed to NOT throw that back at me in a personal way. It's only fair.
She's a turncoat.
Because only yesterday I found out a guy with whom I went to high school killed himself last week. I found out soon after it happened, but not soon enough to make the funeral. It was on Friday.
Did I know him well? Not really. But he was connected to me in high school in that he dated a good friend of mine for a spell.
He was connected to me later on when, in a strange twist of events that only Life can orchestrate, he and The Geek worked together in a small town some 90 miles away. They were good buddies for a while. He photographed our wedding. He came to our house.
They drifted, as will happen when one changes jobs, moves away.
Only a couple of weeks ago, The Geek told a story about him. About how, whenever he wanted to lose weight, he would just quit eating french fries. He would usually drop about 15 pounds or so in a few weeks time.
He was a photographer and was usually in town on game days. The Geek had plans to search him out this year when he attended his one game...he's taken up photography as a serious hobby in recent years. When we had season tickets he would always get the binoculars and scan the sidelines looking for him.
The Geek won't be able to do that now--won't be able to wonder where he is in the crowd and how things are going with him in general.
He had no wife, no kids. He's a number in this regard--single people are more likely to commit suicide than coupled people. Did you know every suicide affects at least an estimated six people? He had parents, siblings, in-laws, and nieces and nephews. He had a long term job. He won awards for his photography. He volunteered in his community. In theory, he wasn't alone. In reality, those surrounding him somehow made no difference in the end. The darkness got to be too much, too powerful to overcome.
Rest in Peace, R. ->
Read the complete post at http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/tXCM/~3/412681672/curveballs.html
Posted
6 Oct 2008 11:00 AM
by
Trench Warfare
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