In recent months, I've interviewed two young, attractive, intelligent, articulate people in their early twenties. Two people, both minorities of a different kind, one woman and one man, who were driven, determined, and exceptional. And both had their own futures completely mapped out by not themselves, but their parents.
In one case, a young woman was the youngest of several siblings, all of whom had a college degree in the math and sciences. She talked of becoming a nurse--she felt drawn to that profession. Her father wanted her to become a doctor. More opportunities, you see. She talked about becoming a psychologist so she could help people. Her father suggested psychiatry, so she could write prescriptions. She spoke of going to a local university, one known for the performing arts. Her father wanted her to apply to a specific, high profile university out of state after her first two years. She was strung out from working and her full schedule of pre-med classes. All she really wanted to do, what truly gave her passion, was acting. She had hopes of becoming an acting teacher some day. She slit her wrists before I saw her.
In the other case, a young man's mother pushed engineering (or architecture. Either one would have been fine with her. So really, he did have a choice in the matter) down his throat for literally years. She made him study for hours, every day, after school. She would accept nothing less than a particular university--one he had to apply to more than once before he was accepted. And because it took him more than once, he was not quite good enough, even though he got in. He joined the military out of sheer defiance, and signed up for the longest amount of time they would allow at the outset, thus sacrificing any true free will for the next several years. He was strung out working a job he didn't like and feeling dazed and confused about his future. What he really wanted to do was paint. He enjoyed it and it help calm him. He took a serious overdose before I saw him.
The arts are so vital and yet when the rubber meets the road, no parent wants their kids to pursue them as a career because realistically, there's no money to be made in the arts. Not a lot of money, anyway, and that's what's important, right? Additionally, and I think this is key, there's little prestige that comes with the arts. A parent sounds much more impressive if they can tell their friends their progeny is a Doctor. An Architect. An Engineer.
A doctor, I get. I guess. An architect? Sure. But an engineer? Why would a parent condemn their child to a life of Dilbert? I've met engineers. On the social functioning scale, they're worse than computer dudes.* And by-the-way, why do parents never seem to push their kids to become social workers? Now, there's a prestigious endeavor. ->
*I've had (one) engineer confirm this.
Read the complete post at http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/blogspot/tXCM/~3/520946885/higher-lessons.html
Posted
23 Jan 2009 2:06 PM
by
Trench Warfare
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