Hi, this is a practice issue and not something I'm overly familiar with.
A synopsis of the case is:
I am working with a 16 year old male, his relationship with his mother has been fraught with diffciulties since he turned 13. He has been looked after for brief periods following being discovered sleeping rough - however placements have broken down due to extreme behaviours (setting fire to a residential unit, assault of foster carer) and he has left several placements to return home. He is only ever at home a day or two when Police find him on the streets again and when they attempt to bring him home his mother refuses to let him stay.
This young person has been assessed and has no identified serious psychiatric, emotional or behavioural issues. The issues with placements are put down to him lashing out due to feelings of rejection. Mother does not engage at all with services other than to sign s20 forms, and there is little known about family history as prior to his accommodation there no referrals and apparently no concerns from health or education. Mother does not respond to letters, permit SW's to visit, answer calls or attend any meetings. She recently sent a letter which clearly stated that she felt that her son was now the responsibility of the LA and wished to have no further involvement in his life.
This case has recently come to my team and I feel that this young person does not possess the skills to live independently, he is currently staying in a B&B which I feel is inappropriate and referrals for sheltered/residential and foster placements are seriously hampered by previous issues. This young person is clearly stating that he wishes to return home and honestly does not appear to know why his mother is refusing to have him. He is an only child and has no relationship with his father or extended family.
I have now been instructed by the powers that be that I have to apply for a Parenting Order in respect of this young person with conditions that the Mother must attend parenting classes and ensure that her son resides at home. I don't believe that this will be entirely futile as it may place obligation on his Mum to at least participate in some form of assessment which may assist in gaining a greater understanding why the relationship is so badly fractured. But in terms of practical living arrangements I cannot see how this can help, we cannot force this woman to care for her son and could be doing more harm than good.
I have never applied for a Parenting Order before and am only aware of them used in the context of truancy and youth offending issues. I would appreciate any advice regarding this, particularly if anyone is familiar with the order being used in a similiar capacity.
Thanks : )
https://www.education.gov.uk/publications/standard/publicationdetail/page1/PARENTING-CONTRACTS
You are correct it is Youth Offending Team led.
This order is about as useful as an ASBO. You cannot legislation for affection and for whatever reason it sounds like there is very little between mother and son.
It exists in statute to avoid magistrates having to say we can't think of anything to do, please go away.
Some relationships are so fractured it is futile to spend, sometimes years with the sticking plaster.
There is no such thing as an emotion injection.
This is another example of societal norms being removed from reality.
Leave the door open, yes but make a realistic contingency. Unless the impetus comes from the parties such orders are just a legal cop out; even then you can't go down the sanctions for failure route, it adds nothing and may even detract. Courts should not be connected with these sorts of issues; they have nothing constructive to offer. If it was me I would not collude with such nonsense.
To go a bit further.
This is usually about unconditional love. Something pricked the lads stability, usually mum putting sex before family and bingo downward spiral.
(How can she love that *** more than me, I'll show her.)
Bloody filter.
Does he say why he wants to go home and why he can't stay
Get him to explore these issues.
I reckon that his school knows more than they are saying. I worked in a school for nearly five years and children told me issues that had existed for years that never got resolved.
Being rejected by your Mum must be awful acknowledge that with him and see what he says
Find out whatever relatives that he has
I don't think a parenting order will do anything
It's hard I know ...but you have to try.....go on
This is about attachment issues between mother and son that most likely became entrenched during his early years. Only family therapy and a willingness of mum to want to make it work would solve the underlying issue. Mum clearly doesn't want it to work and has said so- you can lead a horse to water etc etc
I agree, I can't see how a Parenting Order is going to improve the situation for the YP so I don't see how you'd get the application past the 'no order' principle. Surely it would make more sense to focus resources on direct work with the YP and increasing his capability to be independent (like referring him to a charity that do supported living arrangements like a foyer) and counselling regarding the rejection, as opposed to throwing money to the legal department and the courts on a Parenting Order, under which you will likely end up as responsible officer and be back in court again when it's breached incurring more legal fees. I just don't see the argument that any party would benefit from the Parenting Order based on the circumstances you've described.....
On a practical note, I am not sure you would be able to apply a parenting order anyway. I think they can only be given by the Courts through youth offending, or if YP gets an ASBO, or if parents go to court for truancy. In our YOT parenting orders are rarely used as they are seen as counter-productive a lot of the time. If possible, we tend to try and engage parents voluntarily with parenting support. Have you thought about family group conferencing as an option? (although it sounds like the relationship is probably too far gone for that).
spanna: On a practical note, I am not sure you would be able to apply a parenting order anyway. I think they can only be given by the Courts through youth offending, or if YP gets an ASBO, or if parents go to court for truancy. In our YOT parenting orders are rarely used as they are seen as counter-productive a lot of the time. If possible, we tend to try and engage parents voluntarily with parenting support. Have you thought about family group conferencing as an option? (although it sounds like the relationship is probably too far gone for that).
Thanks for all of your responses, very helpful and you've confirmed my own feelings on the Order.
Should have said that the child is about to be made subject of a YOT referral order and the parenting order was going to be placed with it as an LA application.
A truly exasperating situation, with Management on one side adamant that the mother cannot 'wash her hands' of her son, pressure from Police etc to get a placement that works - how exactly? and the main point a vulnerable young man who does not appear to 'fit in' to any services and desperately wants to return home. If only I had a magic wand!