Hey :)
I'm a youth project worker and although I love my job i'm finding it harder and harder to help the hard to reach young people, the ones that need my help the most. I'm not going to give up but I was hoping for some advice, I feel like they just dont care, they dont want to change their behaviour and they dont want to join in with projects even if there are loads of benefits.
I cant even get some young people to attend a football course when its what they love to do, free and they get qualifications. I just want to help so much and can see they are wasting themselves and have so much potential but its so frustrating that no matter what I say it just doesn't bother them.
I also work with young people in schools and other places and would just like any tips in general, Ive recently graduated and despite having loads of volunteering experience this is my first proper role, Ive been at it for a couple of months now but have noone to turn to for advice on how to help young people who really arent interested and my manager is too busy and I dont work with anybody else!
Any tips or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks guys :) xx
Hiya, I have a feeling I'm about to write a really long post. Ignore it if it bores you, just want to put as much down as possible.
Questions to consider include are they ready to help themselves? Do they want to change things or are they having fun how they are? By hard to reach I imagine you are talking about people who may be excluded from school, sofa surfing, could be involved in criminal justice system, experimenting with drugs etc? Do they feel this is an issue for them? What are their views on their behaviour/lifestyle? You may be finding it harder to help them because young people are finding it harder to find someone who can support them to help themselves. Its a possibility but by no means definitely the case. One has to remember that by definition a young person that is hard to reach is hard to engage. There are many factors influencing their behaviour, choices and judgements. For example politics (although young people wont see many issues as political [how the police treat them, drinking age, being able to vote, smoking ban, etc), human development, poverty, family difficulties, peer pressure, etc. Also some 'hard to reach' young people may have had many professionals in their life telling them what to do or trying to help them... but you cant tell a teenager what to do (unless you want them to do the opposite [generalisation I know]) and you cant 'help' someone who doesnt want help or doesnt think they need any. Your enthusiasm to do a good job should be coming from them. Once you have the hook in, teenagers are incredibly interesting people and engaging with them comes from them. I also assume as a project youth worker you are not working in a statutory setting? So your relationship with the young people is purely voluntary on their part... if they don't want to engage, they don't have to. You are still going to be there, and you will no doubt try different methods (like you said school based work, youth club based, detatched/outreach, etc).
Who says its the young people who are not engaging are the ones that need your help the most? You? How do you know this? What indicators do you have that these young people need help? What are they doing to suggest intervention is needed? Sometimes when working with teenagers its so important to remember what it was like to be a teenager. Defintiely worth reflecting back and thinking about the dynamics amongst your friendship group, the different 'groups' of teenagers, the need and desire to experiment, the want to rebel against anything that feels like its being imposed upon us, the difficulties in developing our sense of self, wanting to go straight out to work but everyone around you saying that doing this makes you less worthy than your classmate who trains as a Doctor, learning to build and sustain intimate relationships with lots of heartbreaks along the way etc.
Definitely dont give up, but do maybe give up pushing to them to engage with you... try it the other way around... engage with them. Give them free rein over your work... if you are planning activities within a set budget.... support them to plan an activity within their budget. Teenagers do care and have a lot of respect for people, in fact they care greatly but are still developing skills to show it (transition between showing behaviours in a child like way and adult like way). They wont care about things that don't matter to them. Seemingly selfish at times are teenagers, but actually you can turn almost any topic around to show the impact it has on them as individuals and a a group.
You have to ask why they should change their behaviour? To conform to rules that are being imposed upon them? They should make the rules, obviously with being challenged when needed. You talk about benefits to the projects... benefits for who? You imply they dont want to do what you have planned, so surely if they take part, the benefits aren't theirs? If they were benefits for them, they would jump at the chance to take part. Hard to reach young people are hard to reach for a reason... because as a society we have deemed particular behaviours and characteristics to be slightly riskier than others. What do they want to do and what do they want to gain? A Youth Achievement Award for example does nothing for a young person if their project becomes an opportunity for a youth service too focussed on participation and accreditation targets. Teenagers are not silly, and certainly don't like to be fooled. They want genuine benefits or some genuine ownership. As mentioned teens are at the transition point in their life and gaining some responsibility is what they want... to prove to themselves that they can achieve. Often a teenager wants the end product but cant be assed to put the work in... or they need to be sure the end product will materialise if they do put the work in... doesn't just go for teenagers... would you go to work if you were told they would never pay you again?
Where is the creativity in a football course? I'm not being critical, I am simply asking questions that could enable us to consider the viewpoint of young people. They are capable of pulling their friends together and playing football so why should it be arranged by you? The football course is easy because it offers accreditation. It really does go back to how much they are involved in the steering of the project and designing/developing whatever is on offer. Other things offer young people a buzz and in order to engage those that are hard to reach you need to offer that buzz to them or have them think of something. The relationships wont happen over night and sometimes it really does involve minimising your intervention and just being around and not really doing much. Or do some simple pieces of work first to srike up the relationship... sex and drugs/alcohol work usually gets their attention. They wont want their project turning out like school... imagine that!
You say they are wasting their lives away... they may well argue that point with you. They are testing boundaries, learning skills, having a laugh, socialising, being rebelious, exercising their rights as individuals (often with teenagers their behaviour can be a littler more extreme than if someone else exercised their rights), they are challenging the tensions they have between being responsibility free children to entering a whole new world as an adult where responsibility is growing. Teenagers, as I'm sure you are aware have a really tough time... they cause a lot of issues as well and are no angels but each teenager genuinely does have a dream and aspirations... just a society, in their opinion, that dismisses them rather than encourages them. It's not what you say to a teenager but what you ask... teens are full of answers (not always what you want to hear, but it's what they want to say!), tap into that. What are their views, what do they like, what do they want to do in life and at their project, etc.
You seem so genuine that you care and want to help. Firstly it is so important to understand them, in their environment. Your a worker that works in a school... like a teacher!!!! imagine what they must think of that (stereotypes are a teens best friend [when trying to understand others] and their worst enemy when on the receiving end... no real middle ground unless they are shown differences). You need to show them in your practice and how you engage with them that you are not a teacher... for starters they can call you by your first name, you probably don't wear a suit, your probably not going to report them to the police unless serious, your going to give them advice tailored to them and in a format appropriate for them. A lot of it is about communication... for example.... if you said to them that your going to talk with them about 'sexual intercourse and relationships'... watch them disengage quickly... explain to them you want to talk with them about 'shagging' and watch them get more curious. Exactly the same topic, but communicated and presented differently. Thats just one example and it's not always as simple as that but you get my drift.
My general tips would be to get to understand them. Remember what its like as a teenager. Speak and engage on their level. Never plan too much... teenagers are the best at not going through with a plan... something better always comes up. Keep work simple.
You need to get your supervision... your manager might be too busy trying to get every young person accredited but to achieve that he/she needs to invest their time in your development. I dont want my post to sound patronising or that I know better than you because I dont, they are just my views and thoughts. Don't be hard on yourself. I think teenagers take time to warm to someone and just having a presence will be enough to start with.
Excellent post Andy Pandy, some really good food for thought - thanks!
blodyntatws: Excellent post Andy Pandy, some really good food for thought - thanks!
Thank you
Wot Andy said.
Selks: Wot Andy said.
Feeling quite smug now ;)
I have to agree Andy SPOT ON!
Keep smiling: Just remember belief... When the young person wants to change/try something new (or what we think is good for them) they take their time and become open to what ever it is. The moment you try to push them in a direction they don't want to go they will dig their heels in. All of them have the ability to change if the right circumstances/motivation happens.
All will be ok. But as Andy said: Get supervision! You need to feel part of a team.
Most people would like something to be different in their life, kids, adults whatever.
Most of us will put effort into whinging about it but at the heart of any change for any of us is this.
YOU have to start doing some things you don't particulary want to do.
Or YOU have to stop doing some things you DO like to do.
Often BOTH
And that is why it is so hard to effect change in the young. The deferred gratification/reward is too disconnected or distant from the self-denial and effort that are involved in the change process.
The path has to be baited with more immediate and incremental rewards in order to sutain the level of commitment to reach what is the actual and more substantial yet more time delayed reward.
Which is also why some people resort to bribery. Bribery is dangerous as if the bribes don't continue to be valued the person stops input because they have never connected with the eventual reward. If they do complete and get to the eventual reward they may percieve that as coincidental, or collateral to the string of bribes and not learn to repeat longer term target planning.
Oh dear this was meant to be a quick comment.
I've got to learn to;
start making shorter comments
And Stop making longer ones!!