Summer is upon us and I gaze into that lovely garden pond,
throw the fish some food and listen to the water falling off that plastic but
stone looking waterfall. Oh and I ‘fish’ our dog out of the pond who thinks it
is great fun to have a paddle and cool off (grrrrr). It was however quite
amusing the other day to see a frog chasing the dog around the garden after she
became fed up with sharing the pond with a border collie, and who posed a risk
to her little frogs.
Ah, the delights of working from home with a laptop parked
on the garden table and networked into our home/office network. Better than the
usual desktop pc in the summer months, although cosy in the winter in my snug
but fitted-out home office.
However, I did get to thinking the other evening, what is it
that fish do? I know the little rascals copulate as I see their little
offspring (quite cute really) and witness their parents rude behaviour as they
splash about in an orgy of reckless abandonment, having a ‘whale’ of a time <gg>.
I wish I had that kind of energy!
I know also that when hungry they will eat all that
outrageously expensive fish food of various varieties – have you ever priced up
fish food? In terms of weight it is more expensive by the kilo than platinum or
gold. Unfortunately, fish (or at least my fish) do not eat dogs! Fortunately
however, fish will only eat as much as they need and what is left over simply
sinks to the bottom of the pond, and gives off nutrients that simply cloud the
water and (with sunshine) cause it to go green with algae – hence feeding
sparingly is advised. Luckily I invested in one of them thingamy-jiggy UV and
water filter things that keep the water and the fish crystal clear.
So, apart from bonking each other and having expensive gourmet
meals (and avoiding that pesky Heron and dog) what is it that fish do? Keep me
sane and mellow as I stare at their graceful movements? Oh yes, that much they
do! But then I find whisky has the same effect and less expensive than the bleeding
fish food <gg>! I mean, all they
do is just swim and occasionally play ‘chase me’ around the pond. What on God’s
earth is that meant to achieve?
Do they produce anything, do they contribute directly to the
infrastructure of society or to the economy and as many of them are imports
from other parts of the World are they simply draining the resources of my
taxes to the state? What exactly are they doing and in particular in my back
yard? Perhaps they are, as in those sickly TV adverts for hair or skin care, ‘just
worth it.’ Mmmm.
It has caused me to ponder on this question (actually it’s a
mild diversion from raking-in loads of dosh from un-written invoices) while I
sit with very expensive fish food in one hand and the other around the dog’s
throat, and looking at some new work that has just arrived by email on my
laptop, in the sunshine under the umbrella over the garden table on the garden
patio – I think I will let go the dog, throw the fish a stick to chase and find
someone on the internet who can train fish to write invoices, answer the phone
and do general office work. What else have these vibrant coloured gill
breathing beasts to do – they could at least help out!
I wonder, can fish be claimed against business expenses –
now that would justify their existence?!
Without any further available advise on ‘what fish do’ I
shall in the interim just have to do my own invoices, answer the phone and do
the filing – oh and actually do some work. Working from home – a masterpiece of
flexibility, achievement and success, with or without fish; I suppose I could
eat them. OK, perhaps not!
Wilt