Hi everyone
Trying to write a feature looking at what the impact of things like email, text, facebook, myspace etc is having on trying to regulate supervised contact between children and their birth parents. Does anyone have any experience of this? is it actually a problem or is it something I have just assumed could be an issue and actually isn't!
all comments appreciated to increase my knowledge
Judy Cooper
Children's Editor
There have been land lines and mobiles for quite a long time now. Sometimes, if the parents are separated or divorced, the bitter disagreements between mother and father can spill over and adversely effect the relationship between the absent parent and the children. If better and effective communications can be encouraged then perhaps children will feel better.
Social networking sites (facebook in particular in my case) play a huge role in terms of contact.
I have a longterm LAC teenager who has regular facebook chats with his birth mum , although no direct contact for many years.
I have used facebook to trace a teenager's birth father at her request (after other methods failed to find him). They now have regular contact and identifying him has opened up a whole new side of the family for the young person.
Within my team there have been numerous instances of birth families identifying adopters/foster families/social workers etc thru sites like facebook and as many people don't have their sites "private" this has led to people being found when they don't want to be.
Messaging thru sites like myspace/facebook, and via text messages, is not supervised and my experience is that young people often feel that they need to keep this kind of contact "secret" so as not to have their internet access or phone taken away, or so as not to upset adoptive carers/ foster carers.
I have known parents to use social networking sites to say things to their children that they would not be able to say in supervised contact (or rather that they do not want the department to know they said!) - such as undermining the placement, telling the child they are "coming home soon", or telling children what to say to the social worker.
For me as a foster carer it's had a huge impact. One of my children was contacted via facebook by her birth mother, whom she had chosen not to see for many years. She was very vulnerable and attempted suicide. Other children have been able to look up their families, absent parents etc, and have their friend request refused, or seen birthparents many pictures of themselves drunk/enjoying themselves while their children languish in care. There can also be big implications for children having their photos posted without giving permission.
Facebook and texting can be a great way for maintaining contact as supervised irregualr visits can be so false, but for most of my children, who are vulnerable and confused, it's been difficult -the perceived need too be secretive and the lack of being able to withdraw without the smokescreen of SWs can be a lot to take on.
This has all been really interesting and I think proves what an issue it is. would love to use some of these quotes in the feature. it would all be completely anonymous ie "a foster carer writing in carespace said: ..." would that be ok?