What is your earliest memory?
Nearly falling out of my dad’s sleigh – it’s only in the last couple of years that seatbelts have become obligatory.
What’s the best part of your job?
Going on Santa fat camp. We’re supposed to be there to do lots of exercise to get us in shape for the festive season, but really it’s just a chance to get together with a load of like-minded people.
What three words best describe you?
Fat; bearded; lazy (I only work one day a year).
Where is your favourite place?
Anywhere with large chimneys and few children.
What are you reading?
The Argos Christmas catalogue.
Who inspires you?
Anyone who works with children when they are awake – I couldn’t do it.
If you were stuck on a desert island and you could only take one person and one object, who and what would they be?
George Bush and a gun. Just because I’m Father Christmas, doesn’t mean I can’t have a view about the war.
Which celebrity would you like to play you in a film about your life?
Rolf Harris – it’s a beard thing.
If you were on death row, what would your last meal be?
Reindeer – wherever I go, Rudolph comes with me.