My life

No one lives at home anymore because of how dad got. Two years
ago, when I was 14 years old, dad would take his stuff (drugs) and
then disappear for weeks. It was so horrible for the rest of us;
mum, my sister, and me worrying and wondering where he had
gone.

When dad came back, mum would ask where he’d been and he
always started shouting at her. So me and my sister would get
upset, and shout at dad and tell him to stop shouting at mum.

Mum would start to cry. This would make my sister and me cry as
well. I felt so low knowing that I couldn’t do anything
because I was a child. I remember pretending that nothing was
happening at home, and everything was normal. I didn’t talk
to anyone about it. I just lived with it.

When I was 15 years old, mum had had enough of dad, because he
kept stealing stuff from home. He stole money, DVDs, even clothes
from the wardrobes.

Things got so bad that I was excluded from school. One day I had
gone into school with my mates. I was fed up with my dad and the
things he was doing. This made me really, really mad. I felt more
and more wound up and then I lost it in class and started verbally
abusing teachers, shouting and swearing. This was all because of
how I was feeling, and how what dad was doing was affecting me. I
was quiet at home, and loud at school.

Because all of this happened in my life as a kid, I will never
ever be able to trust my dad again.

The aspect of my life that I want to change is my dad making the
biggest mistake of his life by being a drug user. I wish he’d
never done this because it has made my life shit! He also made my
family split. I’m not going to make this mistake in my
life.

Julie is supported by The Children’s
Society’s Stars project in Nottingham which supports children
and young people affected by parental substance
misuse.