On the grapevine

Social worker: As I said before, I’m quite happy to dress up for next week’s kids’ summer party, but I don’t see why me and Jerry can’t go as Noddy and Big Ears again.

Family centre manager: We can’t afford to do anything that might be seen as racist after last year – and you know how the Golliwogs were portrayed as criminals in Toytown. Besides, none of the kids know who Noddy and Big Ears are these days.

SW: So, who do you propose we come as then?

FCM: Transformers

SW: Sorry?

FCM: You know, the cars that turn into robots like the ones in the Citroen car advert. There’s a film out about them at the moment – kids love them.

SW: And how exactly do we dress up as cars that turn into robots?

FCM: I don’t know – use your initiative. Study your car and then get to work with some cardboard boxes.

SW: There’s not much about a 1974 Fiat 500 that looks like it’s about to turn into a robot, but I’ll give it a go.

FCM: Good – and can you spread the word to anyone else coming on Thursday? Right, I’m off for a Pig meeting.

SW: A what? Please don’t say we’ve having animals at the kids’ party. Remember what happened with the donkey at the Christmas one?

FCM: As if I could forget that! We were lucky to not end up in court. My Pig meeting is a Project Innovation Group meeting – some of us have a day job too you know!

SW: Tell me about it. Not sure when I’ll fit designing a Transformer costume in between now and next Thursday with my caseload. Looks like I’ll be busy with cardboard and sticky tape this weekend

FCM: Talking about the Transformers again, can you just be aware of the race issue.

SW: Sorry? Aren’t we talking about cars here?

FCM: Yes, but can you just make sure at least one of them is black. Just to be safe