Social skirmishes

● Given that the unelected head of the household is about as much use as a handbrake on a ship when it comes to anything practical or useful, I launched into some long-needed DIY. And then I promptly launched myself from the step ladders butt-first onto the floor. Ignoring the spouse’s comments about an ample and soft landing, I managed to fracture a pinkie. Not so perky now. So, off to the not-so-local A&E.

If the public believe we social workers have poor communication skills, they should try being cheery and sociable with a battle-weary triage nurse. She asked “Name?” but her look said, “What’s up with you and are you going to be a nuisance?”

I brought a paper to look at the jobs. I toy with the idea of applying to be chief executive of the National Small Bore Rifle Association. We are, after all, surrounded by targets. And it pays £50k. However, my obvious lack of “commitment to shooting sports” would be a disadvantage. North Lincolnshire is after a “very senior manager”. I like the idea of being very senior.

The Royal College of Anaesthetists wants a manager requiring the “use of sound judgement, tact and diplomacy when handling challenging people and situations”. My chairing a few team meetings recently would stand me in good stead given all the tense situations I have faced from Betty the new admin manager.

But then, as my number is called, reality bites and I realise that although child protection is a tough call and not very senior, it’s what I love and where I’ll stay.

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