What do you do to destress

Hi

 

I would be interested to know how workers destress from their jobs and how they cope with very difficult situations. Also has your alcohol consumption gone up sine becoming a Social Worker? has it effected your homelife? do you have a homelife to speak of? What do you think the government can do to promote your emotional wellbeing or is it not their responsibility?

Watch Home and Away. Its a social workers dream where all kinds of drop outs are accepted very quickly by the local community and everyone always has enough money to go and eat at the diner.

Also play my lap top at monopoly wonderful and mindless and great when you can beat two computer tycoons

 I found yoga very good but then I stopped going - must re-start again. Art is good too

I log on to the internet and exchange mindless drivel with other saddos.

 Ha ha - I'm offended! 

When I was not so well, to my hubbys horror I bought a sailing dinghy on e-bay. I eventually won him over, and I am really looking forward after joining a boating club to having a few lessons with hubby so as to take it out. It could be a very de stressing hobby or a very distressing experience if we end up going towards France.

Swimming always sorts me out.  There's something about being underwater that is really calming...and it's pretty low impact so you can just float if you're feeling lazy. 

I like a crossword and a mug of horlicks, and that's on one of my more lively nights

I rest my case.

Like many social workers I got divorced within a couple of years of qualifying - that removed tons of stress.

Watch Jeremy Kyle - and think of the poor social workers who must be working with the families on the programme

Play mindless computer games or chat on internet forums

 Which mindless computer games do you play Aitch?

the particularly mindless ones tend to be those children's ones you get on your mobile phone or Sky although I've deleted the games that came with my computer as it was too tempting and too easy to waste too much time - but I'm a regular on another forum where people often post links to different puzzle and games sites - play them a few times and then move on usually

not exactly a computer game this one is apparently useful for Google's research - http://images.google.com/imagelabeler/ - can get quite addictive - Google have designed it to be quite competitive but it depends on your partner how many points you can score - and you have no control over who your partner is

Eastenders or Coronation Street always seems to relax me - although admittedly not the other night when Tania was trying to bury Max! A glass of wine and a cat on my lap also helps - it is amazing how therapeutic it can be stroking a cat - I can see why some people put their animals forward for animal therapy like the pat dogs schemes.

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Well just lately between doing my uni assignments I have been on Carespace nosying around. Its a good distraction and I am still learning. I can't watch the soaps they are too depressing always something wrong and people having a drink for any situation they are in that thay find uncomfortable.

For me the best ways of de-stressing are walking my dogs, going to the gym and going for a climb. 

 

Hi SW,

Is that indoor climbing? You must be very fit, I get to the top of the stairs and feel puffed!

Somebody asked do you drink more? Well I occasionally see friends like 'Whyte and Mackay,' or ring some 'Bells' possibly go to the 'Glenmorangie' and that's probably why they often call me 'The Famous Grouse' I dont drink more but neither do I drink less.......... I was able to give up booze for Lent though and Carespace is OK..

I tried to edit the above but was unable to do so Timed out or something????

Anyway - Seriously My home life has been enhanced since I became a SW. I suppose that is something to do with having the privilege of getting alongside people and helping them change if that was what was needed. Is that called empowerment? It is also good to have a loving and supportive family (sometimes - OK darling all the time)

 Lins, You started this string. What do you do? What do you think?

No where near as fit as i want to be!

 

Yes i climb indoor and out (in Peak District).  Not been doing it long but really enjoy climbing. 

I used to go to the Gym Or Health club , however when I said hello to the SW in the changing room , she got a bit rattled. I only said hello.It must be alarming to find your clients in the same gym . Maybe they think we belong in the pub. My friend was up stairs working out I was in the wet area( the SW's never go in the wet area or steam /sauna in this gym) I was on the tread mill and saw her in front on the cross trainer.I explained to my friend who I had brought in on a pass , I will be down stairs as my SW is up stairs. He was a witness , he said what did you do ? I said hello . She went to the legal department and got a solicitor to give me a warning. Not to say hello to her again. They all say hello to me when they see me in town ,however you are not allowed in civilized society to say hello to SW's. My friend who was a gentleman did not know whether to look or look away . He said what does she look like ?" like no-one else up there looks like " I replied . He said oh I know who you mean , I certainly would not want someone deformed as they would have a deformed outlook on life assessing my family. She replied and then went to a solicitor said I made an approach to her tried to discuss the case. This was not true . Think if I am right she pushed this all the way along . The judge said no to an injunction as the judge did not want a seriously ill child worried his mother was in prison. This lady is off now for 1 year with a child out of the care pool hopefully this will ease her stress somewhat , however can not say the same for the child. Now I do not have to read the lies in reports or inaccuracies or see her face which was not a pretty sight. So now life is sweet . I used to sit in the hot tub underneath the stars look up at the stars drinking a glass of wine in friends hot tub with my Canadian Boyfriend and thank her for giving me power to change my life and live the way it should be lived . I told her this thank you ,what else could say I have said for the freedom and giving me my life back to thank for this new lifestyle. She was not happy at all , think the idea was to destroy every aspect of my life and isolate me from society. It has had positives. As I lay on the sun loungers thinking of my ex -partner running around playing the doting parent , thanking him to and his new wife . If it was not for them I would be stuck at home watching Eastenders or worst in a CC's listening to children scream to go home to their mothers. When instead the have to go home to single men or worse same sex couples or disabled people sorry if this is not PC however this is the otherside of adoption and FC's . Not ideal but it will have to do and Goovernment Policies to stick to. I am off now shopping down to M&S for a bunch of flowers and some advocades. The extra money I have to spend to now my Ex is in house carer he is footing the bill. I offered to contribute but he said NO!

lol margaretthatcherschild , you are like a breath of fresh air.I think i'll just catch your witty  response to destress lol.You certainly have put perspective on my issues with this poor grandma,come to think of it,i think i'll ask her what she does to destress. Thanks again.

people in certain circles would say that climbing can be viewed as "not being able to surmount problems" others would say " what are you trying to get away from?" but,then again you "may be trying to see things from a higher perspective" and in doing that gain more "insight" that way lol. What do you think s.w

The other thing i do is ,watch a particular programme called " LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE" I think we should all model ourselves on these 3 lads lol.I find them absolutely hilarious. "THE CHILD WITHIN"

margaretthatcherschild - You raise an interesting point.  What do social workers and clients do when they bump into each other in public.  Personally I will make eye contact and take the cue from them - only speaking if the client speaks to me first on the basis that they may be with someone who doesn't know they are involved with a social worker, or because they simply may not want to be sociable - after all many people don't have social workers involved in their lives out of choice.  Children and teenagers are more likely to speak and announce to their friends and the world around them that you are their social worker.  On the other hand parents are more likely to blank you.

As for social workers themselves, it can be disconcerting and make you feel vulnerable if you bump into service users in public, partly because there are some social work roles that make you vulnerable to threats from service users and you want to protect your home and family.  Bumping into someone at the gym implies that you or your family live nearby and that can make you feel vulnerable.

Anyone else any thoughts?

Aitch, I do the same as you and wait for the cue.

I had an experience when I was with a service user and I met a counselling client. As you can imagine it was a bit difficult. Eventually the counsellee spoke, asked what I was doing and how I was. I told her I was just out with a friend excused myself and walked on. Later the service user thanked me for introducing him as a friend. If he had asked me I would have referred to the counsellee as a friend and left it at that. I think that you must go with the flow and be as honest as you can without breaking confidentialities..............Then I went home and relaxed with my 'Teacher (s)' friend........whew!

Aitch, If you are both playing from the same hymm sheet and have respect everything should be fine.The SW assigned to our case created , also enjoyed personalising the case. It was evidenced and diarised every day.The legas passed remark on this blantant abuse of her postion. I think that was dreadful the poor man who was stabbed. No matter what abuse or PTSD I was suffering I always remember who I was and were I came from and kept my dignity . It is a shame however that some SW's let down the side. Quiet often Familes discuss the B side of Core assessments. The side the general public do not know about. I will leave this story for another day. My deepest sympathy to the SW's Family.

The worst time I had was when I was visiting my mum in hospital and an ex-client was in the next bed.  The ex-client showed absolutely no sign of recognition of me.  She hadn't always been happy with what I was doing but a few months previously I had changed jobs and so I didn't really know what had been going on for her since.  Anyway when I went out to the toilet I overheard her talking on the phone to her friend in a rather annoyed tone about how her ex-social worker was visiting some old woman in the next bed (as well as not being at all happy about being on the geriatrics ward to say the least).  It was also apparent from what little I heard that things hadn't been going at all well for her and that she had been arguing with the nursing staff.  Her tone was quite aggressive and I was quite concerned for my mum who was in the next bed and feeling vulnerable anyway yet there was nothing I could say to either my mum or the nursing staff without breaching confidentiality.  Nothing happened needless to say and she discharged herself the next day.  I wouldn't have minded her having a go at me, to some extent it comes with the job, but I really didn't want her having a go at my family.

Just wanted to add that in my previous post I was replying to Spartacus (so it makes sense) but the editing function on this site doesn't seem to work.

Sadly you're right margaretthatcherschild - some SW's do seem to get hung up on power - and the truth is there is both power through legislation and the potential to abuse that power, however, most SW's are just trying to do a job, keep children safe, keep them with their parents or within their birth family (yes really), or in other areas get the best provision they can for their client.  Needless to say there will be differences of opinion and disagreements between the SW side and the client/family side where an agreement is never reached.  Sadly though some SW's are subjected to threats and violence from clients who are trying to protect secrets, whether that is abuse or criminal activity.  Fortunately the recent death of a social worker during a visit is rare and most threats remain just that, but it can still be unsettling for the SW, who is only human after all.  That's why many don't live 'on patch' (where they work) and so the gym scenario doesn't happen too often. 

Hi aitch

I am in total agreement with you. its just a pity that most SW are tarred with the same brush some of us are very child focused and try to do a good job even putting their own necks on the line against the systems that are meant to protect. I used to be able to enjoy shopping trips into Newcastle (a place i was born) to destress after a hard day I even managed to take my child until i was threatened by a sevice user and so to protect my own child I had to stop. In the end I couldnt even go for a drink with my mates (not SWs) down the city as I kept banging into services users. Most of the time they were fine and just nodded and got on with their own business but their is always 1 that doesnt. I now have to be careful where I go just to get peace and quiet.  

That is such a shame.  When people vilify social workers I don't think they realise they are talking about fellow humans and the impact this can have on their lives.  It impacts on where you live, and I know of others who have found themeselves working with the family of a child in the same class as their own child.  It can be declared to management but it's not always possible to reallocate a case when everyone is working to capacity and beyond.  Very difficult when your own child comes home with tales of classroom events!

On the funny side - as a SW team we went out one year for our team Christmas dinner to where there were quite a few other work groups.  At one point, a few bottles of wine into the meal, it was all jolly and each table was invited to introduce themselves, to a cheer from all the other tables - until we got to the social work table which was followed by a rather desultory clap from the other tables - ever felt like a social pariah - no wonder social workers tend to socialise 'in house' or with other allied professions such as the police!

Yeah you are right there. The best thing is to destress you have to have a way of letting off steam where you feel sfae with those people about you and as you say people find out who you are and its as though they may catch a dreaded bug off you. The best tonic is a good laugh and we all  ( or most) have a wicked sense of humour. Most of my family are consultants (who don't have a sense of humour) so you can imagine what evenings we have. I say bring on the policemans ball

marypoppins , Lets face it you have to get a grip on reality just smile it kills them . It is a waste of life and time the children will never get back again. I thought I would just have my gap years and study I never had an opportunity before, too busy with family and work . My case lost what else can I do but have ago at everything that was not an option whilst having a family . A loss is a loss you have to deal with it in your own way and own time scale it is part of life comes to everyone . In this case I do not mean to be hard nosed about losing children but if it was a disaster which it is in no uncertain terms. Well I rest my case we have to get on with life.I may be an unfit mother ,however I am the world to the other child and have a value else were to other people and have a right to reach my potential . Give you an example a jobs worth in a job center said to me That course will be to difficult for you to do level 1 IT course I said really . Look at me now I could get paid £25 an hour for my skills maybe more if I take media studies. Moving on now you simply can not win ,wasting on average 5 years hanging around courts waiting for a good judge to give you a fair trial. Who knows we may change the law like Angela Cannings a mere shop worker . You can not win with the Court system you would end up mad and then they would have won turning you into this character the Psychs had demonised in a few hours of skim reading limited information some of which is factually wrong. I say it is all in the hands of god not all up to SS and Courts something could go wrong and they are on your door step handing back the children ; look at L mind you the tapes were played recently in The House of commons to MP Belligham could have had something to do with it . The grandmother such try OU education is power once you get to see how Social should be accessed and applied to the family and compare what was done to you, you are half way there to building a case against the LA for the future for your children/grandchildren. Some of the mothers are going for law and politics . We will get a foot in the door to help children being spewed out the care system the other end at 16 - 18 . Never give in they say the children do come home eventually. She should get some one to sponsor a grannie I will do this if she wants! They are valuable persons and a generation the likes we will never see again . They have tenacity & and backbone of society.

Marypoppins please can I be COMPO ? I like wellies and gardening and being cheeky LOL now then there is the child in me coming OUT!

Damn!   Does that mean I get to be Nora Batty.......again?

Only if you want to , remember there are other choices LOL think again I would if I was you need to have some fun whilst you are still able to !!! LOL

Aitch this is another topic eating out . We eat out a lot in the town. We often come into contact with SW's & Police. I will chat to the police as I know some professional sports men . I am just polite and move somewhere else. There are 2 in our area and they are so common . They say they are SW's however they must have given themselves the name. The behaviour is questionable so is the dress code. In different pubs they look totally different. They are black women ,dressed like they have been to court or a meeting dressed in the dated best clothes more suitable for a church gathering.This kind of tells you they have been out of the work place for sometime too as there age middle aged. Then one of them has jazzed herself up like she is going out on the pull.Even got a wig on. she sits directly looking at us and I just look straight back at her. She says hello I still do not answer her. She wants to make an approach come over to our table. my eldest son is a looker and in his late 20's. She finally says alright to him and he says yes. The message is not alright maybe you should move. We order champagne and carry on the rest of our guests arrive and she moves not us this time.

I go home from a long day dealing with difficult teenagers, spend time with my 2 year old daughter who is my world, bath her and tuck her in bed then have a large tia maria and diet coke and watch Eastenders!! Perfect until 9am the next day when you are faced with the madness of social work!!

That sounds like a very nice night, well apart from the Eastenders!! I love it when my children stay with me. It just feels so nice when we are all ready for bed, i love to see them in their pj's and then to read to them. 

I hope that they never get too old for one of daddy's bedtime stories

My little girls routine has always been ......bath, supper,bed.....since she was a baby.......but being a working Mum and hav9ing to work shifts and stuff has meant that this litle routine has become lost. Im trying to get her back into it because not only does it help me destress its actually good for her too. She still loves her bedtime stories hot water bottle and its little things like that which make family life so valuable.