Community Clairvoyance

Cancer (Jun 23 – Jul 23)

A message from an old friend will leave you hankering for the past. But how to recapture it? Tip: plastering your desk with old photographs is probably more advisable than digging out your old wardrobe. After all, when you haven’t worn “your favourite top” for seven years, it is normally for a very good reason.

Leo (Jul 24 – Aug 23)

Normally you like an opportunity to be imaginative, but a request for ideas on yet more “new ways of working” is likely to prove too much for even the most creative to take. Copy and paste the minutes from the last meeting on the same subject into an email headed “new ideas”. I guarantee no one will even notice.

Virgo (Aug 24 – Sep 23)

You may start to notice an annoying drop in your productivity this month. There are three probable culprits: 1. the pollen on the way to work 2. the air conditioning while you’re at work and 3. the rubbish weather. The only way to safely avoid all three is to stay at home. I’m sure your boss will understand

Libra (Sep 24 – Oct 23)

Your quest for harmony among your colleagues looks set to be threatened by yet another Big Brother row over whether or not the social work student twins are bad for the image of social work. Don’t allow yourself to get sucked in – life is too short (and caseloads too large) to waste time debating the merits of two girls who are threatening to become social workers on a TV show now only watched by listless 17-year-olds.

Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22)

This month, you are likely to find your “sympathetic ear” in demand, both in and out of work. Buy lots of Kleenex tissues and prioritise the needy. You only have two shoulders available for crying on, so you can’t help everyone.

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 21)

Beware – there is a danger that work could get in the way of your holiday plans this month. Everyone has the right to travel – just as everyone knows doing so requires a certain amount of time researching on the internet when you should be typing up case notes.

Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 20)

It is time to try something new. How about a hobby, or evening class, or outing to the new restaurant that’s just opened around the corner from work? Or – and here’s something really radical – how about leaving work on time! That will get tongues wagging, if nothing else will.

Aquarius (Jan 21 – Feb 19)

There are talks of more cuts to services, and you will undoubtedly struggle to lay back and accept these without a fight. Pick your battles carefully though. Work out which managers’ bonuses are linked to saving money – and then lobby the other ones.

Pisces (Feb 20 – Mar 20)

Love is in the air – possibly. There is a certain nurse from the local PCT who you pass most days on your way to and from work who definitely keeps smiling at you. In fact, you’re sure he winked at you one morning. Finally, the benefits of multi-agency working are becoming more apparent.

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20)

You will face a big decision that could affect the direction of your career this month. Seek the advice of colleagues – and then ignore them all. Only you – and your bank manager – truly know what you should do next.

Taurus (Apr 21 – May 21)

Rumour of the possibility of “hot-desking” being introduced where you work is making you on edge. In case there is any substance to this rumour, now is the time to become exceedingly messy to ensure no one wants to share your desk. You could also refrain from showering if necessary. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Gemini (May 22 – Jun 22)

It is difficult to focus on the job in hand when there always seems to be a leaving do to plan! Maybe, if people could be persuaded to stay put a bit longer (you could suggest pay rises all round), you would have time to get a bit more work done. Still, at least you have got an excuse for a couple of bottles of Cava and a bowl of twiglets in the office most Friday afternoons