Social workers are to be given emergency training to help children cope with the emotional turmoil of Zayn Malik’s departure from One Direction, Community Care understands.
Since the singer left the popular boy band last week, children’s social care teams have been overwhelmed by requests for emotional support for teenagers suffering ‘Zayn Pain’.
“This has been unprecedented, and has forced local and central government into action,” minister for boy band relations, April Loof, told Community Care.
The minister added there was a very serious debate within government about postponing the election to deal with the One Direction crisis. However, that idea was shelved in favour of specialist social work training.
Where do broken hearts go?
The training will include learning all of the lyrics to the band’s most popular songs, ‘Where do broken hearts go?’, ‘Story of my life’ and ‘Last first kiss’, so social workers can serenade the heartbroken youngsters.
The government would be “mad” not to include this photo in the training toolkits, experts told Community Care. Photo: Matt Baron/BEI/REX
Social workers will also be required to carry around a photograph of Zayn (pictured left) at all times to help soothe distressed passers-by. The training toolkits will also include 7,000 pages of unedited fan-fiction about Zayn, which will be mandatory reading for social workers so they can understand the mindset of struggling fans.
“Having worked in a boy band for several years, I understand the emotional impact that a member leaving can have on devoted fans,” the minister said.
Peter Ian Staker, spokesperson for the Associated College of British Social Workers, welcomed the minister’s announcement.
“We are glad the government is acting on this most grave situation. Social workers are overwhelmed. More referrals for Zayn Pain are coming in everyday and social workers don’t know how to help these vulnerable young people,” said Staker.
Staker did, however, criticise the government for not having a contingency plan in place for this kind of emergency. “The government is not doing enough to safeguard services against these foreseeable crises,” he said.
Staker added: “All I can say is thank god Harry Styles didn’t leave because then we really would be in trouble.”
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April Fool!
Hilarious. Am mid write of final year CLR and this has made me laugh! Thank you x
Minister for boy band relations, April Loof !
I think the real give away was the suggestion that the government are considering postponing the election to deal with the crisis. We know they don’t care that much about young people’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
April Fool’s!
light hearted relief for a moment in a very busy morning. LOL!!
I could offer a personal perspective as a survivor for this training, having survived the heart break caused when David Cassidy withdrew from public life.
As a social worker I really do not see the funny side to this April Fools article. These are young people who are struggling with their emotions and I feel that it is inappropriate to make fun of and downplay the seriousness of self-harming.
This is a matter that should be taken seriously as many young people have self-harmed due to Zayn leaving the band. I really do feel that as a profession we need to be taking this seriously and not joining in with an April Fools Joke – how would the young people self-harming feel if we perceived it as the article has done.
My thoughts exactly.
Very amusing story but have you seen the online sites such as ‘Cut for Zayn’? Very disturbing images of young people cutting themselves because of this news story?
I was broken hearted when Monty Python and Spitting Image ended. I requested a social worker to come around and do a “ministry of silly walks” to get me through the tough times, however, after getting the budget agreed, he or she phoned in sick!
Haha good one made me smile
Loved this article, gave everyone in the office a much needed chuckle! We want to know where we can sign up for training ha ha
Why did David Cameron get in early with his April Fool by announcing that a child of his would be “heartbroken” at the going of some chap who had been presenting Top Gear?
Thanks – it gave the team a good laugh in an otherwise hectic and stressful day.
Just saw this after a stressful day as a social worker and you have finally made me crack a smile! Cheers
As is the case with many young and indeed older folk, I too have been distressed by Zayn’s’ announcement. The news was stunning and I was truly saddened to the extent that I decided to obliterate my feelings by watching Eastenders for the first time in eight years. Mea culpa, I know…..but who could possibly have anticipated the worldwide angst that leaked when we all heard the news. I know that I certainly leaked.
I do however believe vehemently that we need to be thankful for Zayn’s contribution to contemporary youth and pre-teen culture. Zayn’s legacy will endure I have no doubt, for at least 10 days.
Regards,
Mrs Trellis from North Wales
Brilliant April’s fool
I know it’s an April Fool and I can see “the joke” but, when Robbie Williams left Take That, a woman with a diagnosis -then- of Borderline Personality Disorder whom I was supporting, was genuinely distressed, and seriously self-harming. I imagine there are people who feel the loss of Zayn as intensely now.
Some of the hilarity of an April Fool is in the improbable permission to ridicule the rich and powerful for one morning, in contrast to the daily humiliation of the poor and powerless. It could have been amusing if Community Care had written an April Fool that poked fun at the government’s hypocrisy, or at the supine nature of the opposition and local councils, and I know it’s not beyond the wit of CC journalists to write such a piece. And that could be funny and refreshing.
I think this shows a lack of understanding of the fragility of the minds of some young people who may be profoundly affected by things which may seem laughable to others.
You are the ones with egg on your face – shame on you !!!!!
Is it not possible to have genuine empathy for our young people struggling with thier mental health, yet also be able to laugh occasionally?? It does not mean we are without compassion, merely that we need a laugh to get through the day. Lighten up.
Brilliant and if you want to see what the new regs are doing to care managers check out this hilarious video https://vimeo.com/124109406