Child in care: ‘My soul has been torn apart but now it has been sewn back together’

This piece was the winner in the secondary school category at the Coram Voice ‘Voices 2016′ competition. Each person taking part was asked to write about what, or who, makes them happy. It was written by a young teenager in care.

I lay there like death lies over the graves of the living. Jumping into the darkness of the night like light jumps into the darkness of the abyss. My life being shadowed like the British clouds shadow the light and all that is good for this world. Being drowned into the depths of the ocean like a fish gets drowned in the depths of the air. My soul being burnt like the rain burns the fire to the deepest pits of hell.

But still I am happy, and the two people who make this possible, Pete and Linda*.

When all feels wrong in the world I think of them and all is correct again. In this world of war and torment I think of them, how much I love them and how they have helped me throughout my life. They are my real parents and I love them with all of my heart. I have been with them for 10 years now and when I think of them I think of my heroes.

Only going up

Before I met these amazing people I was on a rollercoaster, but not I am on a rollercoaster that can only go up. I felt like hell was on my heart but then I was opened up to love again. I felt suddenly like there was a huge weight on my two shoulders and then I met these two people. The weight was suddenly lifted.

The only two people who were solely responsible for this. My heroes. Pete and Linda.

I had felt a new emotion that I had never felt before. I was greeted by happiness. I was greeted by another feeling that I had never felt before when I met them. Love.

My eyes filled with tears of joy as I struggled to keep in the happiness. Warmness flooding through my veins. A sigh of relief as I felt as though I had found my safe haven.

Heroes

Struggling to control my emotions as strangers became my friends and friends became my family.

Could I have been there? Was I in heaven? Every day I asked myself these exact same questions. But then I have to come back into reality and realise that I was still in this same world of war and torment, but with these people helping me through my poisonous life I can do it and I will eventually become stronger and no longer crying my way to sleep every night.

My soul has been torn apart but now it has been sewn back together…by my heroes…

The past ten years of my life have been the best I have ever experienced. Our family is like the story of Romeo and Juliet except in our family the love is returned because there is always love and sometimes it is consistent and that is why I love my family and they love me in my family.

They are my heroes. They are my happiness. I love them loads.

*Names have been changed