‘A vocation, full of the best moments and some of the saddest’: a retiring children’s home manager looks back

By David Jones*

“In my time I’ve seen some quite frankly astonishing things, those that have made my heart soar and others that have brought me to the edge of despair. That the former have outnumbered the latter is testament to the generosity and resilience of spirit of both kids and staff, which have prevailed in some often testing environments.”

A qualified social worker who, over 22 years, has been the manager of three council-run residential children’s homes, Dorothy* is about to retire at 62.

While she has long had serious concerns about a care system that was never perfect, she says it is fast becoming one that she no longer recognises, because of the decline of the child-centred ethos that has inspired her and many others.

Private equity and prioritising profit

“A major change is the proliferation of private equity-run homes, situated in cheaper and more deprived areas of the country,” she says. “These are often hundreds of miles away from the child’s family, and the priority is profit over care.

“Another consequence of cash-strapped councils is the placing of young people in budget hotels and other illegal and unregulated settings, none of which are registered with Ofsted.

“This in turn leaves vulnerable youngsters at risk of being groomed by county lines drugs gangs. I appreciate that local authority finances are a mess, but the lack of political will to confront these issues is scandalous.”

Criticism of unregulated care ban

The rise in the number of unregulated placements prompted the government to ban them for under-16s in 2021, while creating a system of regulation for remaining provision for 16- and 17-year-olds in care.

However, providers of such supported accommodation were not required to provide young people with care, only support.

“So, the government has essentially allowed local authorities to put these kids in places without any adult supervision,” says Dorothy “Who could have imagined that traumatised young people would ever be treated like this?”

Dorothy’s hope is that a new government will address this.

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Deprivation of liberty

Equally shocking is the increasing use of deprivation of liberty orders on children. A draconian measure, only to be used as a last resort, they are now becoming commonplace.

“This is outrageous and evidenced by judges voicing their frustration. Because alternative provision does not exist, kids with complex needs are being locked up in high security mental health hospitals. And the judges’ hands are tied.”

Having started working with teenagers when she was 28, Dorothy became a home manager for the same age group when she was 40.

After eight years, she moved to a post as manager looking after youngsters aged eight to 12. Four years later she moved to her final position, again working with teenagers, where she has spent the past 10 years.

A proper functioning care system, comprising dedicated staff and where the child’s voice is paramount, can work wonders, she insists.

Forging connections with children

“The younger children were an absolute joy, but eight and nine-year-olds can also present with some very challenging behaviours,” says Dorothy. “Often, they struggle to understand why they are in care, and can make little or no sense of some very chaotic backgrounds.

“I remember one occasion when a nine-year-old boy became uncontrollably upset after his auntie missed a visit. He threw books and toys out of windows, screaming that he was going to run away and kill himself.

“A member of staff bided her time, talking gently to the boy before approaching and hugging him. She spent the remaining three hours of her shift talking and listening to him, making sure he became settled, which he did.

“Of course it’s heartbreaking to deal with, but when you see a real connection being reinforced in such circumstances, it does show how sensitivity and understanding play a crucial role in this work.”

Conscious of the stigma of being looked-after children, they are quick to spot a less motivated staff member. “Kids will tell a care worker that they are ‘in the wrong job’ or ‘only doing it for the money.’ Such staff are always found out by young people.”

The ‘grossly inappropriate behaviour’ of some staff

A small minority of staff can also display grossly inappropriate behaviour, she adds.

“When I joined my third home, I noticed at lunch on my first day, that staff were using different cutlery and plates to the children. When I invited the deputy manager into my office to explain what on earth was going on, he said staff brought their own from home, not wanting to use plates the young people may have urinated or defecated on.

“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. But this area of work can attract people who simply aren’t emotionally or intellectually invested in what we are trying so hard to do. I still wonder how they pass an interview, and then aren’t weeded out more quickly.”

Reprimanded straight after lunch, the staff members involved voluntarily left the service within the next six months.

On another occasion, a 14-year-old girl was being verbally abusive towards a male member of staff, whose responded by forcibly grabbing the girl’s arms.

“I was just outside with another member of staff, when we suddenly heard raised voices,” Dorothy recalls. “When we entered the room, we saw the staff member shaking the girl so aggressively that a hairpiece she was wearing actually flew off her head.

“At this point she became hysterical and ran to her home. It was the last thing that bully ever did in the home.”

Of course, with the best will in the world, some young people’s experience of residential care is a miserable one. And Dorothy says that this is understandable.

“Missing loved ones and friends, trying to function in an environment that is so alien, is simply too much for some youngsters, who feel totally alone and adrift. But I’d still like to think they know we care and are there for them.

‘Warts and all, the ideal form of care’

“It can make you feel impotent of course, but I remain convinced that the model of residential child care is the best we have. It can help stabilise and give structure to young lives, aspiring as it does to offer a family home life in every sense, warts and all. In this respect, it is the ideal form of care for looked-after children.”

In terms of outcomes, it remains the case that care leavers who have contacted Dorothy to let her know they are doing well, or even thriving, are small in number. Learning that someone has settled down, become a parent or is enjoying rewarding employment has, however, brought her to tears.

“I still wonder how, after all they’ve been through, they managed that? They deserve a medal. Of course we know what the statistics show, that the majority of care leavers struggle in later life. But as counter-intuitive as this might sound, it doesn’t necessarily indicate that the system is fatally flawed. It can’t be a cure-all as that simply isn’t realistic.”

‘A vocation, full of the best moments and the saddest’

Dorothy admits that she will miss what has been “a vocation, a challenging and rewarding experience, full of the best moments and some of the saddest”. But she doesn’t apologise for repeating her fears for the future. A core factor driving some English councils to bankruptcy, children’s social care is seeing more young people needing its services and more being failed.

“The only time I came close to resigning, was when I was powerless to prevent a 12-year-old boy being moved 200 miles to a private residential setting. Such a cruel and heartless policy is the wrong direction of travel. And it’s a sign of the times.”

Will a Labour government change the landscape? “It says it has inherited a massive financial hole, so that hardly augurs well. And within such constraints, I don’t anticipate the environments of looked-after children to suddenly become a priority. It’s difficult to feel anything but pessimism and anger, to be honest.”

*The author is a freelance journalist and former residential child car worker. His name has been changed, as has that of the manager interviewed.